The Haven
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The Haven

Top 10 Reasons To Never, Ever Stay Living in the Ski Town You Moved To Right After College

1.You know that weird, old, long gray-haired guy who you see everywhere you go because he is always working a different customer service job? Of course you do, because now he’s you.

2. You will probably marry someone whose slogan is that they, “don’t live here to work!”; but you don’t, either…and someone will have to.

3. Hope you like whichever industry gave you your first raise; because to try to switch fields means asking for a starting pay rate against the steady stream of young newbies moving in every season with nothin’ to lose and supplemental checks from their dads; and now you have kids to pay for, your parents are dead, and your asking price is much more expensive to local businesses than New College Grad Kelsie’s is.

Skier laying on his back in the snow, spread-eagle and ski tips straight up

4. You’ll be at your desk answering phones for Mom n’ Pop and being the 3rd of 5 Data Checkers and you’ll think you’ve “Made It” because you have weekends and a few major holidays off and you can work inside, sitting down.

Meanwhile, all of your city friends will be doing things for their livings that they even kind of like doing while they dump money into their kids’ 529s and figure out which country they’ll be visiting next, because they have tons of vacation time to use up from their National Company Benefits Package.

5. You will eventually seriously consider becoming a realtor. Yes, even you.

6. Mysterious dermatological fact: your face will age faster, while vacation homeowners’ faces defy time and appear younger. Also a fact: growing ski towns sprout as many plastic surgeons and day spas as they do liquor stores and ski shops.

7. Once you move back away, chances are much greater that you will be able to afford to visit the town, and dine on its fresh food year ‘round, and not have to wait for expiring food during the shoulder season 2-for-1s. Your gut and your dates will thank you.

8. Pine trees will again look beautiful and meditative rather than boring and homogenous.

9. Grass. Chances are less that your kids will smoke it, and greater that your kids will play on it.

Also, less: astronomical landscaping bills and destination-earthing and lawn-playing before the sun dips below the summit, and more: your kids will be kept busy and warm playing outdoors just outside of your very own door until bedtime.

10. It’s late May and it’s snowing. Which isn’t so great when you’re 20 years in, and no longer a seasonally-contracted liftie. But what is great is that you’re no longer a seasonally-contracted liftie (see #4).

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Carisa Peterson

Essayist, playwright, copy & content writer by night. Stay-at-home Mom in a Breadwinner's body by day. Twitter/@LynnoType ~ FB/LynnoType ~ carisapeterson.com