Top 10 Signs That You Might Suck

There are many signs that you suck, but here are the most obvious ones.

Benjamin Davis
Jan 3, 2020 · 4 min read
Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash

When I told my therapist that I don’t like going out because people suck, she asked, “Why do you think these people are bad people?”

And I clarified, “No, no, they aren’t bad people. I’m sure they’re wonderful people. They just suck.”

“Okay, what does a person do that makes them suck?” she asked.

And I said:

1. You’re rude to service staff.

2. You say any variation of “Mhm, uhuh, yeah, right, sure” more than five times while someone is talking to you.

3. When someone is trying to exit a conversation, you keep talking for another twenty minutes.

4. You insist on putting your arm around people when they have asked you not to.

5. You are a perfectly capable human being who takes the elevator up one floor.

6. You think it’s funny to make people feel bad.

7. You get joy out of spoiling entertainment for people.

8. You’re mean to dogs.

9. You look for any excuse to turn conversations into an argument in which you hold the moral high ground.

10. At a party, where no one has asked you to play guitar, you play seven songs on the guitar.

And my therapist said, “Oh, well, I think we’ve got a long road ahead of us.”

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Benjamin Davis

Written by

Columnist and author. My writing is like a bunch of people at a party trying to tell different jokes at the same time. benjamindavis.substack.com

The Haven

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Benjamin Davis

Written by

Columnist and author. My writing is like a bunch of people at a party trying to tell different jokes at the same time. benjamindavis.substack.com

The Haven

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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