Top Books Banned In Florida

David Volk
The Haven
Published in
4 min readFeb 3, 2023

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And Why They’re So Damn Dangerous.

Apparently, the state is trying two new mottos for size — “Don’t say ‘gay’” and “Don’t say ‘book.’” National Education Association.

There’s a reason people have taken to calling the sunshine state “Flori-duh” and it’s not just because its leaders are so stupid and it’s the home of so many so-called Florida Men. It’s also because the state’s leaders are working hard to make its young citizens dumber than those of any other state by dumbing down their education. They’re doing it by banning CRT (which I believe is a form of CPR and is not taught in classrooms), refusing to say the word “gay” (which has resulted in people referring to the city of lights as “Happily Heterosexual Paree”) and banning books. The Duvall County School Board in Jacksonville banned 176 books alone recently. While I don’t have room to list all 176, I’d like to hit some of the highlights so you can see why it was so damn important to ban such radical, dangerous books including —

Dim Sum For Everyone.

It’s easy to see why Duvall County wanted to ban this book. The character looks so scary. Amazon.com

This book’s celebration of a Chinese family going out for a traditional dim sum meal is dangerous because it encourages people to eat weird foods that look nothing like normal people food such as fried chicken and bologna and mayo on Wonder Bread.

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David Volk
The Haven

I’m a Seattle-based freelancer and humorist who loves goofy humor, politics and pot stirring, if you know what I mean.