Top Funny Bathroom Graffiti

David Volk
The Haven
Published in
3 min readJul 15, 2022

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Or Is It Graffito?

You really shouldn’t write stuff on bathroom walls, even if it’s funny, but if you do…please pull up a chair and tell me about it. thesun.co.uk

Some days you just wake up with your mind in the gutter. Other days, events conspire to take you there. Occasionally, though, you are inspired in that direction. That was the case today when I sought refuge from a really, really long swim meet by walking to a nearby shopping center to get coffee. While there, I had to use a public restroom and saw something I haven’t seen in years — bathroom grafitti. Funny bathroom graffiti. This got me to thinking about soe of the funny graffiti I’ve seen from years past. And this inspired me to do this listicle.

There’s nothing political about this post, nor is it particularly socially uplifting. It’s just that I found most of it pretty damn funny as well as humorously offensive the first time I saw it. In fact, I expect everybody who reads the list will find something to be offended by, so here they are —

My Favorite Warning (You have to read this with just the right inflection.)

I saw you take that shit.

Put it back right now!

2. Apparently, Somebody Wasn’t Paying Attention In Algebra Class.

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David Volk
The Haven

I’m a Seattle-based freelancer and humorist who loves goofy humor, politics and pot stirring, if you know what I mean.