SWEETHEARTS

Transcript of a Drunken Wedding Hookup Told in Leftover Valentine’s Day Candy Hearts*

* Some phrases may be rare or discontinued

Kind of leaves a chalky taste in your mouth * Laura Ockel viazavier, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

HAVING FUN?
SAVE ME
FUCKING WEDDINGS
RIGHT?
JOHN
MARSHA
FAMILY?
JUST FRIENDS
BRIDE?
GROOM
CLOSE?
HONEST?
GO 4 IT
EX
NO
BE TRUE
DITTO
BRIDE?
YUP
OMG
FUNNY
HYSTERICAL
HERE 4 U
GOOD 2 KNOW
CHAMPAIGN?
CHEERS
CHEERS

30 MINUTES LATER

KEEP A SECRET?
I GOT U BABE
BED WETTER
YOU?
GROOM
PRICELESS
BRIDE?
DAY DRINKER
LOVE IT
DADDY ISSUES
MAMA’S BOY
GOLD DIGGER
BANKRUPT
NYMPHOMANIAC
IMPOTENT
YES!
SO HAPPY 4 THEM
B-LONG 2GETHER
SIX MONTHS
TOPS
CHEERS
CHEERS