Transforming ‘FROM’ A Ripped Body
A curious case. You have never heard of anything like this.
You read the title right. This is the story of how I transformed myself ‘into’ the guy above ‘from’ the guy in the picture below.
“Those are two different guys in the two pictures”, you must be thinking. Yes, you are correct. Transformation does mean changing into an entirely different person, isn’t it? You don’t believe me? Great. It’s better if you don’t. Do not get motivated to do what is written in this article and please read it in good humor.
So, what is all this about a reverse transformation? During my birth, I was stuck in the birth canal due to my extremely broad shoulders. They somehow managed to pull me out after 4 hours to find out that I weighed 18 lbs (8 kg) which was more than the weight of all my mother’s internal organs combined. The doctor diagnosed me of having ‘300’ syndrome. Like the characters in the movie 300, I had a ripped body with six-pack abs since the day I was born. My parents were a little disappointed because I was born different. Funny how parents want you to be ordinary when you are born and then suddenly wish you become special when you grow up.
While in my teens, one day I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I rushed to the doctor because I had never been sick before. The doctor asked for a stool sample. After examining the stool sample, the doctor told me that my body had so much excess protein that it had started excreting it. He asked me if I would give him my poop from which he would make a supplementary protein powder and sell it. I had nothing to lose, so I agreed. The powder became so popular within a few months that I became rich. I had no idea how it became chocolate flavored. (Avoid eating ‘300 animal protein concentrate’ if you don’t want to eat my poop.)
I was both fit and rich. People hated me. I had nothing left to achieve. I managed to live my lavish life somehow spending my days on cruises. I used to see my friends asking girls on dates, so I tried asking a girl out myself. To my astonishment, SHE AGREED! I wanted to get rejected just like my friends always did. Enough was enough. I didn’t want to be different anymore. I wanted to change!
The Transformation
I decided to say goodbye to my ripped body which had devastated my life. I hired a personal trainer and a nutritionist to tell me what to do to get fit. I started doing the exact opposite of what they recommended and hoped that would help me become unfit.
a.Exercise
I bought a gym membership because I knew most people with a membership never go to the gym and I had to be like that. It was very hard for me to wake up everyday and stop myself from working out. I listened to all the fitness podcasts in reverse hoping to get demotivated but that didn’t work. I hired a person named Jack to scream at me whenever I tried to do a push-up. But the neighbors complained of his shouting so I had to let Jack off. I had to force myself to wake up late everyday even though my body craved to wake up at 5 a.m. and do yoga. I started doing Maths to redirect the protein to my brain. You might have figured out that I was still very dumb.
b.Diet
This was the worst part. I had to start eating everything. I started eating burgers, fries, hot dogs, doughnuts and other fast food. They tasted so good that they were disgusting. I craved for boiled chicken, egg whites and protein shakes (not the one with my poop). I hated more than two sensations in my tongue and nose. My parents even told me that if any stranger offers me candy then I should take it. I used to think it was because of the calories but now that I think of it, they might have just wanted to get rid of me. Anyway, my diet was anything and everything. YUCK!
Results
It was the first time in my life my veins were not visible beneath my skin due to a little fat gain. I threw a party out of joy. I made it a cheat day for me and ate boiled chicken and vegetables and drank a lot of protein shake (this time my own brand). I couldn’t control myself and accidentally did a few push ups. I still regret that. Anyway, I started accumulating fat and turned into a normal obese person in a couple of years. My protein protein powder sales also decreased. I had to get a job like a normal person but I was dumb. The doctor said that because of my obesity I had a lot of blocked arteries and I was vulnerable to develop obstructive sleep apnoea syndrome, diabetes, lung problems and a bunch of other conditions. It was the best day of my life. I finally became an ordinary person. He said I might die very young though.
Bottom Line
People made fun of me both before and after the transformation. But I was less likely to die early when I was fit.
Do what makes you happy while giving first priority to your health. And never put you body or physique before your mind. My life would have been a lot better if I had been born an intelligent person instead. When you see a person with a jacked physique do not assume that his life is perfect. He might be dumb, or worse, he might be rich.
When I was a hunk, a girl wanted to marry me because my life was sorted. I hope she reads this post.
