Trump Announces Plans for Presidential Truck Stop/Adult Superstore
Not to be overshadowed by the this week’s groundbreaking of former president Barack Obama’s presidential library in Chicago. Donald Trump announced construction plans for a building dedicated to his own presidential legacy, the Donald J. Trump Presidential Truck Stop and Adult Superstore.
True to Trump fashion, this presidential center will be unlike anything the public has ever seen before. Complete with an Arby’s, mini-casino, and strip club to compliment the adult superstore, visitors will also be able to purchase a plethora of MAGA apparel and all things from the Trump endorsed product line such as steaks, water bottles, and deodorant.
The truck stop will be full functioning as a traditional hub for all of trucker’s needs and managers promise to never install charging stations for electric vehicles. As visitors stroll through the truck stop they will be treated to a series of Trump’s greatest tweets pushed to their phones every 5 minutes. Guests will also be encouraged to tweet their own conspiracy theories with the chance to win the Q award for the most crazy. Unlucky casino guests who lose $5,000 or more will be awarded diplomas from Trump University as a consolation prize. And instead of dog racing, gamblers will be able to wager on their ability to grab a pussy cat that wanders through the center.
Visitors will be able to experience the world as Trump sees it by using their phones through augmented reality features. A special game has been created, similar to Pokemon Go, which rewards visitors with Keno vouchers by using their phones to find invisible suckers digitally imprinted onto other guest’s clothing. AR with also allow users to build their own digital border wall in a game where players sit atop an unfinished section of the wall and cast a fishing line into a crowd of Mexicans below, using work visas as bait. Every time a Mexican is caught all of their money is taken to pay for another section of the wall. Although due to poor game design, there have been many reports of these digital Mexicans being able to glitch through the digital wall once completed, making it pointless.
