Trump To Replace JD Vance With Eight-Year-Old Boy
“Time to reboot the franchise”
Former President Donald Trump has announced in a post on Truth Social that he plans to replace running mate JD Vance, reportedly with an eight-year-old boy.
In the post, sent at 3:17 on Friday morning, Trump said “JACKASS JD VANCE IS Off the Trump Ticket. He is making me look Weird with his crazy beard and I’m not Racist but his Wife is Indian like Kalamari. Strange. Wait til you meet your next Vice President. MAGA 2024!”
In a hastily organized press conference not attended by the former President, Trump spokesperson Stephen Cheung said:
“While President Trump has great respect for JD Vance, the Senator has made remarks about “childless cat ladies” which have been offensive to an important segment of the American population. These do not represent the views of President Trump and we apologize to any cats hurt by his unfortunate comments.
“Also, with Sleepy Joe out of the race, President Trump felt it was a good time to reboot the franchise, and has opted for a brilliant new approach toward filling the Vice President slot.
“The Republican Party understands that children are the future, and we must teach them well and let them lead the way. We take this very literally. However…
