Twitter releases records of DMs between President Trump and President Putin in time for the 100-year anniversary of the Russian Revolution

Rebecca Strong
Oct 28, 2017 · 3 min read
Putin giving instructions to Trump

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Vova, you there? Vova?

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

You saw my message, Vova. I know how Twitter works! I have the best brain!

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Vovaaaaaaaa!

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

Blyat’, Donny, what is it? I’m busy. Maybe you should try doing some work.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

What work? It’s 3am here. Sad that you don’t know that!

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Anyway, can I come?

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

Blyat’, again? The girls says they won’t pee on you. It was disgusting, they say.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

No, not that. That I can’t! Melania watches me like a hawk. The Secret Service is always around. I mean the parade!

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

It’s not that kind of parade, Donny.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

I know it’s not a pageant, Vova. I want to come to your military parade!

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

Still not that kind of parade, Donny.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Will there be tanks?

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

Yes

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Will there be trucks?

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

Yes

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

I want to sit in a truck!

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

It’s not that kind of truck. It’s a historical parade, blyat’. They aren’t monster trucks.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Terrific trucks.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Vova, how did he do it?

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

Who?

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

The guy you are parading in front. Lenon.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

And the guy after him. And you. All tough guys. You are great guy! Very smart!

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

How did we do what? Blyat’, Donny, I got a meeting with the hackers now. Be more specific.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

The dictatorship. How did you do it? I want to have some winning. Bannon keeps promising but nothing! I gotta fire that loser.

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

You did.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

I don’t know if I did. I was told I didn’t. Did I? Anyway, how?

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

I told you I’d teach you with time. Blyat’, have some patience.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

I don’t have time. Bad Mueller is closing in on me! And on you!

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

Not on me. I have a country. And nukes. I don’t care.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Can I come? Maybe I’ll stay like Snowden!

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

What good are you to me here, Donny? I need you there. I paid you to be there.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

We are doing a great job for you! Believe me! Can I come for the parade?

October 18, 2017

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

Make your own parade.

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

I cannot. They won’t give me any more nukes. Sad!

October 18, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

October 19, 2017

How was your meeting with hackers? Can they hack Mueller? We are going to take care of everything for you if you do!

Vladimir Putin

@PutinRF_Eng

Do you ever sleep, Donny?

October 19, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

I watched the last year parade, Vova. Your trucks are tremendous! The best ever!

October 19, 2017

Donald Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Can I come?

October 19, 2017

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Rebecca Strong

Written by

Author of WHO IS MR. PLUTIN? (Curiosity Quills Press, 2015) — a novel that foresaw Putin’s intentions to meddle in the US politics. www.rebecca-strong.com

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk