Ultimate guide on how to ace your exam
Know from the expert writing this guide on the night of his exam.
I get it. You are losing your shit right now. You never prepared for your exam, and now it’s too late. Because why else, would someone be sane enough to click on this article instead of looking up the course syllabus? Well, the good news is, you’re not alone. I also happen to be in the same situation right now. Let’s sink the boat together. Let’s get wet with the water body of embarrassment!
Now, after that display of non-serious behavior, we are running out of hours so I will quickly share some of the tips that will work, they will work? right!? Well, I am not sure, tell me after trying them out on your exam tomorrow.
- Waste time: I love this one as it saves so much time. Honestly, once you start wasting time, you will learn the value of time eventually and read the whole 25 words of the Course’s Author introduction 5 minutes before the start of the exam. Way more than what you would have studied otherwise.
- Try ChatGPA: This works better than ChatGPT because if you type a query on this specific AI platform, instead of giving you an accurate answer, it will show you your current CGPA. The data will make you anxious and hit rock bottom, a perfect distraction from studying.
On the contrary, if you are one of those people who need a kick, this trick will act as a motivational factor pushing you to open your course book for the first time after all. Moreover, if you ignore the first response by the glorious ChatGPA and ask another question, the AI bot will literally come out of the screen transforming into your mother slapping hard on the cheek, and forcing shame.
3. Talk to your girlfriend/Boyfriend: Skip this. You don’t have one.
4. Watch the skies: Look up at night, and observe how pollution has hidden away the bright stars that were visible when you were young. Yes, when you were young, and had no responsibilities. Just toys to play with and cartoons to watch. Cereals to eat and bicycles to ride with friends. No college/school to attend and exams to fill the paper half-heartedly. Sleep on this thought and wake up tomorrow to fail your exam with a fresh mind.
5. Cheating: I don’t advise this one, it is unethical and immoral. In extreme cases, it can actually lead to a break-up hurting your partner’s feelings. So, avoid it. Ignore this if you have read the third tip and you are so lonely.
Best of luck with the exam tomorrow…..to me. I have spent all day writing this piece and my cheeks are red-hot due to the consistent use of ChatGPA.
Uzair Haider is a stand-up comedian and humor writer.
Freelance work: uzairihaider@gmail.com
Instagram: uzairiwrites
