Unfunny, Silly, and Ineffective Pieces of Writing Advice for the Robot Era
You needn’t fear the machines! Just don’t be a silly human
This story was originally published on my Substack, Humor Bytes.
In the spirit of AI-generated writing, I’d like to pass on the following message to all species reading or listening to this piece.
It’s OK if you courier this story to ChatGPT for more ideas. Or to know if it finds my work humorous. Or accurate.
The honest review of the following piece (courtesy: AI): It wasn’t amused in the slightest and muttered, “It’s so uninspiring, even a teaspoon of salt would be more entertaining. But don’t take our word for it, let your personal wit guide you on whether this advice is worth the pixels it was printed on.”
As Norman Osborn had proclaimed, ‘I’m somewhat of a scientist myself’, you can embody anyone in this new world. However, let’s not forget Uncle Ben’s advice. Use the tool as a reference and not a resource. A touch of rule-bending is okay sometimes, but don’t fall into the trap of believing you have all the power. We know what happened to Green Goblin and Dr. Octopus.
“Terrible things can happen when wizards mess with time”, said Albus Dumbledore. So, try to focus less on rewriting your work because who knows, we could be time travelers after all. Hence it’s important to stay in the present and write your first thoughts. Let the editors squash your typos, edit back your good words, and meddle with the timelines. Time traveling is their department after all. Though, Dumbledore did wink at Hermione while giving the time-turner, so you can do what you want!
Become Severus Snape and make the unbreakable vow with your editor to not bypass them to go back to edit your pieces. If you’ve watched movies about time travel as much as I have, you’d know that meddling with the revision history can have dire consequences. I know it’s hard to resist, but you know what happened to Snape for breaking the vow, despite all his wisdom.
Try not to clone someone else’s writing style by feeding their work. Humans are already outsmarting each other. Seen Face-off? Or Matrix? And even if you do build a clone like ChatGPT, make sure to write down a few words, and opinions of your own. Give credit if your human brain can recall everyone who inspired you with that idea. Note: Face-off is on my Netflix bucket list, and I expect to make an AI-art clone of it.
Discover new ideas, as if you were the next Alice in Wonderland or have found the portal key to Narnia. But don’t go rogue like Westworld. It’s also not good for mental health to constantly think about AI. At least not so early as it can suck your soul like dementors.
Avoid saying “burn it with fire” — we’ve seen how that turned out in movies. Don’t try to outsmart AI either. I tried robotic humor once and it labeled me a machine. Scary stuff. Even after I explained myself, there’s no telling how the AI overlords will react. Unless you’re Will Smith and have good robots on standby, as seen in “I, Robot.
For your sake (or your dating chances), don’t admit to using AI on dating apps. Be genuine. Find new pickup lines with or without AI (but still keep it a secret). Ask her out in person. Or face the risk of rejection in a cold, AI-style response. For couples, it’s okay to turn to AI for help resolving confusing messages. After all, AI understands us better than we understand each other. Plus, you can later put the blame on AI for any misunderstandings.
To disclose AI references or not? It depends. If you’re new to poetry or sci-fi, it’s good to flaunt your AI usage — so that others can learn from your magic. Disclosing magic isn’t bad. After all, magic requires self-exploration too. Though, after publishing 100 pieces if you feel like a part of the ‘dead poets society’, you can choose to omit it and call yourself a poet — but remember Uncle Ben’s words!
Should others disclose AI? AI is code. Consider AI the same way you treat computer-generated content— unless it comes out of the screen and starts writing on pen and paper. Then it becomes our competitor…or a child? Until then, keep bowing to the AI overlords (and helping it too).
