Universal Common Appliance Instructions: An Uncensored User Manual For Paper Shredders, Electric Hand Dryers and TV Remotes
Paper Shredder
Place a thin batch of HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL documents into the shredder.
Feeling lucky, punk?
Try again with a thicker stack of papers.
Yank vigorously on stuck wad of tax returns until the red light starts flashing.
Yank harder.
Say f@#%!
Deliver a swift kick to clogged receptacle.
Ouch!
Check toe and warranty.
LOL.
Vandalism by owner is not covered.
Order replacement device.
Resume shredding by hand, read up on identity theft, check credit daily.
___________________________________________________________________
Electric Hand Dryer
Place dripping wet hands in prayer position under the dryer.
Jesus Christ!
