Updated Corporate Slogans That Aren’t In Any Way Problematic
Wheaties: “The breakfast of everyone who participates.”
KFC: “Finger lickin’ good, if you have fingers, a tongue, and/or the sense of taste.”
Burger King: “Have it your way, but ask for consent first.”
Las Vegas: “What happens here, stays here (except Blackface and past offensive tweets).”
Airbnb: “Belong anywhere… as long as you’re not gentrifying.”
Maybelline: “Maybe she’s born with it, but maybe she’ll identify as something else later, so don’t make any assumptions.”
Budweiser: “The king of beers, or queen, or nonbinary monarch, or proletarian.”
Wonderbra: “Hello boys, my eyes are up here! How dare you sexualize me and objectify my body. I purposely expose and highlight these secondary sex characteristics for me, not you!”
L’Oreal: “Because you’re worth it, unless you’re a rich, white, cisgender, heterosexual male, in which case why can’t you let someone else be worth it for once?”
Smucker’s: “With a name like Smucker’s, you know we definitely don’t diddle any kids.”
Nike: “Just do it, as long as it’s in compliance with all statutory governmental guidelines and regulations.”
