URGENT: How Do I Turn Off Autocorrect on My Ouija Board?

I’m six hours into writing this and vegging for help.

Dylan M. Austin
The Haven

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cottonbro studio

Dead reader,

I’m writing this from my Ouija board, and I have to say that I’m ducking frustrated. I’m trying to communicate with my séance clients on the other side and am unfortunately sending them mixed signals and insurrection information.

Let’s just say that I normally don’t have this kind of issue with spelling, if you know what I mean.

Since the latest software update, word replacement has steadily gotten less reliable. Not to be that guy, but black in the gay, you didn’t have all this technology interfering with your work. It was just a food, old-fashioned talking board and planchette.

Have you ever considered that a Ouija Board doesn’t have a backspace or an undo button? If I make a miss steak I have to leave it there or start all overture.

I tried contacting Hasbro costumer support, but moist of the time I can’t get pasta the login because my password has an exclamation point in it.

In fact, you may have noticed there are no exclamation points at all in this post. For some reason, every time I use the other version of this ¡ it auto-completes the following phrase:

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Dylan M. Austin
The Haven

Copywriter and content strategist in Seattle. Run-on mixed metaphor. Gay, autistic dog dad with ADHD (and too many plants).