W, W, W
A story of woe.
A pounded the gavel. “Please take your seats,” she said firmly.
B looked at her belligerently, but A paid him no heed. B was always belligerent.
L started walking out the hall with his chair. “I didn’t mean that literally,” said A calmly.
L shrugged. “Okay,” he said meekly, and sat down.
Finally, after a few more minutes of ruckus, the letters were all seated.
“We have all gathered here at the behest of W,” began A. “So, without further ado, I shall let him present his case.”
W rose and slowly walked toward the podium. He scanned the hall for a few seconds, with a tired look in his eyes, and then said, “The burden lies heavy.”
“What?” shouted S from the back.
W sighed. “Exactly,” he mumbled.
“Huh,” cried S again. “Why are you up there? What’s going on?” S was a scrutinizing fellow.
W squared his shoulders, as if in effort to gather strength. “I’m tired of questions,” he said quietly.
Now it was H’s turn to shout. “What? Speak up!” He was somewhat hard of hearing.
W raised his voice. “I’m tired of questions. Have you not noticed that all questions begin with me? What, Where, When, Why, Who, Which, Whose.”
“Hey,” objected H, “I’ve got my How.”
W smiled ruefully. “I apologize, old friend. But I still maintain that I carry too heavy a burden — and have done so for a long time.” H smiled at him magnanimously and W continued. “Almost all the questioning in the world falls to me.” He looked dejectedly at the floor. “As if I have any answers.”
Z raised her hand, and W gestured for her to speak. “You may be right,” she said, “but what would you have us do?”
W had his reply ready. “Help me carry the burden,” he said quietly.
“How?” questioned M, as a few other letters in the audience also exhibited puzzled looks.
“I would like to pass the burden to others,” said W earnestly. Clearly, he had given this much thought.
“Impossible,” intoned I, and inveighed, “Impractical and inconceivable.”
“Unreasonable and unthinkable,” uttered U, utterly upset.
W looked at A — but she just shrugged.
Suddenly, a mischievous smile appeared on W’s face. “I knew no letter would volunteer to aid with this onus. I had to try, of course — but I knew.” He paused for a moment. “No hard feelings. I have conceived of a work-around.”
J jumped up. “What?” she shouted, did a little twirl, and repeated in a singsong voice, “What?” J always did like to jazz things up.
W remained silent, but the smile festooning his face grew wider.
“TELL US!” cried P, who was not known for his patience. Q looked at him adoringly.
W raised his hand to quiet everyone down. “I propose,” he said calmly, “that we create a new letter.”
There was a moment of stunned silence. Then everyone seemed to erupt all at once.
“New letter?”
“Absurd!”
“Hasn’t been done in ages!”
“He’s out of his mind…”
W stood quietly, taking all this in his stride. After a few minutes the maelstrom died out, at which point W simply repeated, “A new letter.”
Z was the first to offer support. “Can it come after me? I’ve been last for so long.”
W nodded in approval. “It most certainly can.”
It took some convincing and cajoling — C helped — but W stood his ground, and he finally won them over.
The small matter of the manner by which the new letter was to be created was solved when P and Q looked at each other bashfully…
The new letter would be born of love.
