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HUMOR
Wait… English Isn’t the Only Language?!
I nearly had a heart attack when I found out.
I don’t understand. English is just how humans talk. Like, there’s no way to say things without it. If there were “other languages” this whole time, why didn’t anyone tell me?
Sure, I took French in school, but I thought that was just some weird excuse to give teachers a free prep period while we all chanted verbs in a monotone along with a tape. Oh, and to pretend that we were “cultured” or something. I certainly enjoyed eating fondue that one time. And it was fun making strange costumes for presentations.
To me, French was just this ominous, vaguely difficult area of study that I was doomed to fail at because really, English was the only language. Despite being informed that French was indeed a “language” that people in the world actually do “speak”, I never even heard more than one sentence at a time of real French in all my years in the classroom studying it.
And don’t even get me started on “Spanish”. I signed up for that course in the tenth grade, for much the same reason that I always assumed I was made to take French — it’s apparently impressive to learn new words, and it’ll probably be an easy mark given that no one really gives a shit about learning it well. Probably because… it’s…
