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Warner-Discovery CEO David Zaslav Plans To Replace Viewers With AI Bots
It’s a foolproof plan to garner the MAX potential.
As networks have pivoted away from paying their writers a basic human salary or providing them pickles in their sandwiches, corporate executives have attempted to lean harder and harder on artificial intelligence systems such as ChatGPT, in hopes that the computerized plagiarism software can construct load-bearing sentences that seem new and original enough to please audiences, while remaining mathematically safe enough to please out-of-touch investors with monocles and poofy mustaches and large burlap sacks of cash with dollar signs printed on them.
Now, Warner Discovery CEO David Zaslav has cooked up an audacious plan for the next big idea in entertainment tech: a completely artificial user-base! That’s right, Zaslav aims to replace loyal HBO viewers with AI bots, leaving premium cable fans wondering just where we went wrong in our binge-watching habits.
“Why rely on unpredictable human viewers when we can simply produce AI bots with impeccable taste and never-ending enthusiasm for our popular series’?” Zaslav reflected, while explaining his plans to an awaiting crowd of robo-journalists via Instagram live. “With the help of cutting-edge computer technology, we can program a dedicated user-base of robo-fans who will…
