Watch Your Back, I’m the Nickel Sock Fairy
In agony after your first “get back in shape” workout? Yeah, that was me
That’s right, the Nickel Sock Fairy — the Tooth Fairy’s cousin. While she takes baby teeth and leaves petty cash, I remind adults of their physical limitations.
Like her, I show up in the middle of the night.
Unlike her, I’m there because you just did an ill-advised workout. While she’s in a tutu and has a magic wand, I’m in military boots and I’ve got a tube sock filled to the elastic with nickels. She flicks her wand and turns molars into quarters. I wind up into a full-armed swing and just bludgeon people.
I’m looking at you, Mr. Accountant who agreed to play a game of broomball with your office mates. And you, Mrs. Just-Had-a-Baby who decided to run the stroller five miles, rather than just one. Sure, that’s what you could do, before. No, it’s not what you can do, now. And yes, I’m looking at you, Mr. Tough-Mudders-Don’t-Look-That-Hard-So-I-Won’t-Train.
These sad schmucks don’t know it yet, but they’ve all just scheduled a full night session with me.
You never see me coming, of course. That whole fairy magic thing? It’s real. Sometimes, I’ll even bring my pet Lint Monster to work, just for company. You’ll never know.
