Satire
Welcome to the Military Battleship Museum, Where Every Ten Minutes We Simulate an Attack So Realistic It Gives All Visiting Veterans PTSD
Have fun!
Here at The Military Battleship Museum, we pride ourselves on the preservation of our storied military history. However, we are even more proud of our billion-dollar spectacle that provides ultra-realistic explosions and pyrotechnics created by top movie effect studios around the world. When visiting our museum, it feels exactly as if you’re in the middle of an intense deadly battle somewhere in the pacific.
If you’re a veteran, it’ll surely transport you back in time to a war when you were frightened beyond belief. Plus, your admission is completely free, because it will definitely cause serious emotional trauma
The simulated battle takes place every ten minutes, but our proprietary randomization technology ensures that it will always surprise and terrify visitors. It starts off with a mayday and warning alarm that is so ear-piercing, all neighboring residents in a five-mile radius were forced to abandon their homes. Believe me, it’ll cause you to duck and cover.
After the warning alarms, you’ll hear and feel a barrage of machine gun fire raining down on the pier. The detonations and…
