Welcome to WorkNeinMore — Land of the Lazy.
WorkNeinmore is a paradise for people wanting to enter the abyss of indolence. Barely a thousand lazy souls inhabit this land. Another thing striking about them is their warm hospitality. They never perceive outsiders as a threat who will take away their jobs — well mainly because they never get fired and don’t worry about job security. The task of performance review has been assigned to the employees themselves by their superiors who claim this is to teach them to be honest with themselves but everyone realizes that it is just a ploy by their lazy asses to get rid of unnecessary work. If any given day, 50 percent of the workforce gets together and says the three magical words ‘Work Nein More’ the day’s work is called off. This policy is not applicable for essential service providers like healthcare providers who by the way are all outsiders because no one in the sacred land of WorkNeinmore had the patience to get through med school.
Despite the comforting atmosphere of the land, people do have grievances sometimes and feel the need to protest. They decide on a common time and then post their photos holding plaque cards on their snapchats and instagrams to show their solidarity. Women of the land were granted the right to say the three magical words after one such protest.
To pass time in the afternoons, children play modern games with certain changes to suit their sluggish selves. In football, the useless 90 minute tussle is done away with and teams directly go for penalties. Similarly in cricket, the super over is played directly instead of 20 agonizing overs. ( a single over of play to decide the winner). Children test their speed and stamina through races of many types — the 10 meter sprint, 40 meter relay and of course the dreaded 1000 meter marathon in which only a select few dare to take part. Skating was introduced to children of the land after it was recognized that rolling required considerably lower effort than walking
After this incident, science was hailed as the essential tool which was going to make their lives simpler. One dude was randomly chosen as their representative (as the process of conducting elections was considered tedious). This guy was assigned the task of hiring scientific experts from outside to do research and suggest ways by which they could make their daily lives simpler. The scientists were stupefied after observing their daily lives and were not sure if any more reduction in effort was even possible. They rather went ahead and suggested a certain increment in effort so that they could sleep better and hence be more refreshed the next day. The advice of the scientists was widely mocked and they sent back after the representative of the land gave back a written reply to their suggestions.
‘’ Oh my beloved scientists, residents of the outside land, how could you be so wrong. I guess the trials and tribulations of your daily lives have taken a toll on your mind and stopped you from thinking clearly. You see, the beauty of being lazy is not somehow convincing yourself to feel tired after minimal effort- rather the beauty is actually feeling tired and acknowledging deep down that you can work nein more. And so we never complain of sleep deprivation because we are actually tired after what we do. And in fact we sleep like a baby for whatever duration that we do’’.
