CHATGPT MOVIES HUMOR
What Ever Happened to Wilson?
and why you won’t see him in beach movies anymore
Did you see the film “Castaway” with Tom Hanks? Who was your favorite character? I have to go with “Wilson” the volleyball. In fact, he ended up winning an Academy Award for “Best Piece of Athletic Equipment in a Drama, Comedy, or Musical Set at the Beach.”
What a lot of people don’t know is Wilson was not exactly thrilled to spend six months filming outdoors in the harsh elements. In fact, he admits he only did it for the money. You can listen to his comments here:
I’m Wilson, the ball from that flick,
Stranded on this beach, makes me sick,
With sand in my seams,
And no pleasant dreams,
This island life’s more than a trick.
I once was a ball full of cheer,
But now it’s just dread that I fear,
The sun burns my face,
In this lonely place,
Oh, how I wish I weren’t here.
The saltwater’s harsh on my hide,
I’m tossed by each wave and each tide,
No friends here to find,
Just madness of mind,
Oh, how I long for a ride.
The nights are so cold and so bleak,
No warmth or comfort to seek,
With each passing day,
I rot and decay,
This beach life’s a torturous streak.
I’d rather be back in a game,
Where life had some purpose and aim,
No more sunburnt days,
Or wild, lonely ways,
Just fun with a net and a name.
I envy the shells on the shore,
At least they have homes to adore,
While I sit and rot,
On this sandy plot,
Dreaming of times before.
So here I lie, cracking and torn,
Regretting the day I was born,
No more beach for me,
Just my court, you see,
Far from this place so forlorn.
Oh, someone please save me from here,
This beach is my ultimate fear,
I’d trade all my time,
For a court sublime,
Away from this sandy frontier.
I’m outta here. To infinity and beyond!
Originally published at https://allenrsmith.com on June 30, 2024.