What is Appropriate?
Do you ever wonder whether wandering eyes are good or bad?
I’m a male, so supposedly, I have testosterone flowing in every nook and cranny of my body. However, I’m not your hulky six-pack model alpha-male type.
Even the word ‘testosterone’ makes you think about The Rock, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood, or fill in the well-chiseled male of your choice. But I bet the word never conjures up Bill Cosby, Allen Weisselberg, Donald Trump, or the Subway Guy. And this is the difficulty; Aren’t the most testosterone-filled males supposed to be the sex fiends? I am confused.
Or is it a matter of perception? Perhaps, six-pack-endowed males would never have their advances go unwanted, being the modern versions of Adonis. In contrast, the flab-flopping males are considered so appalling that any simple glance is unwanted.
The problem with the male eye is that it is full of candy, and eye-popping candy at that. If an attractive woman crosses his path, he will develop a boner, no matter if he is an Adonis or the Hunchback of Notre Dame. The problem is that men’s minds and bodies are programmed for physical desire (why do you think cavemen pulled their women around by the hair?). Women are more emotional in their sexual desires. So, men out there, talk to your women and don’t merely drop your pants. Do you get my point?
I am not suggesting that men should get a break because of their genetic makeup, and I am a male. But I am all for the ‘Me-Too’ movement and find any unwanted advances on both women and men repugnant.
Equality means equal power and equal control. It is equality between the sexes, which I speak about. Women are sexually attracted to men, and men are sexually attracted to women — that’s been true since the neanderthal age.
But inappropriate sexual advances go deeper than desire itself. Some men are in the game for control because they’ve gained a certain level of power and ‘male-alphaism’ that they assume will retain itself. Thank God for the ‘Me Too’ movement to help chisel that mindset away.
Then, there are those lonely boyish types that you’ll find at your local strip-bar drooling over a pint of beer. They sit all around a dance stage, seduced by strippers named ‘Porche,’ ‘Bambi,’ ‘Lola,’ or ‘Cinnamon.’ Perhaps, these lonely boys have lost their jobs or girlfriends and need to fill some void. And the gap gets them thinking they can take one of these strippers home. These girls are only in it for the money. But the patrons’ gonads are exploding. How is the lonely boy supposed to relieve the tension?
And I don’t mean to suggest that lustfulness is right or wrong. If two people want to get it on in whatever way they want, then go to it. The question of appropriateness is a matter of boundaries as far as I am concerned. How far you go in your pleasure-seeking mind is limited by the constraints of all parties involved. If a woman or a man has no interest, turn your head immediately as your boundary has been set for you.
But ladies, please do not overreact if a man seems to be glancing at you. It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to jump your body with an amorous tongue or cross certain prohibited boundaries. It means that you are attractive. Now, I’ve caught myself doing such ‘star-gazing.’ but I felt embarrassed because the question about appropriateness came to the forefront of my mind. But damn! the woman was attractive! And I wasn’t staring; I was glancing. It was a question of momentariness.
On the other hand, ladies, if a man has saliva dripping from the corner of his lips, is leering at you, or decides to brush up on you, or whistles and spurts out words, ‘Hey baby, let’s get it on,’ you may have to set boundaries for him even when the man should know better. And be brave; you don’t need to take crap from any man. Get him fired or call the cops if he tries to take affairs too far, even if you are afraid of not being believed. At least, you know that you are right. Scare the shit out of us men so that, as years go by, society will be free of ‘so-called’ misogyny and misguided alpha-male behavior.
