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What Is The Cute Barista Trying To Tell You By Drawing A Dick Pic In Your Coffee Foam?
Is he really into you, or is he just bored with his job?
Published in
4 min readMar 18, 2025
Left hook bacon bazooka
Don’t get too excited, but Randy just drew a dick pick in your coffee. Now, there’s a lot to unpack here, so let me help you interpret it — good thing I have a minor in Art History from Sarah Lawrence. You see how it’s aiming to one side? Randy’s telling you he’s got one of those left hook bacon bazookas. This intensely personal form of self-portraiture means: “Let’s hook-up.” And notice how the various planes are playing with your spatial expectations in an almost cubist manner? Don’t be surprised if you find yourself being boned on an Escher infinite staircase later.
(Oh, and yes, that’s a ribbed condom he’s wearing, which as you know enhances your pleasure — so considerate!)
