When is the Appropriate Time to ‘Santa-ize’ One’s Home?
I’m normally a big fan of individuals who challenge large corporations or establishments over what they see as violations of their personal rights. Many of those people have appeared in my Medium prose and I have delighted in their stories that end with them, to use a politically incorrect term, “sticking it to the man.”
Which brings us to the case of Nick and Claudia Simonis.
As widely reported, the San Antonio couple recently received a warning from their homeowner’s association after erecting Christmas decorations in their front yard on November 1. The association insisted that was too early and the couple should Santa-ize their home, according to the letter, “closer to the holiday season,” without specifically defining “closer.” The Simonis’ knee-jerk reaction was to ignore the demand; in a show of support, many of the couple’s neighbors erected their decorations.
If I lived in that neighborhood, I would also show support…for the homeowner’s association.
I’m sorry Simonis’ but I can’t help you on this one. Had you just installed flickering lights on your bushes and your home’s exterior, you and the association probably could have peacefully co-existed. But it was the large, inflatable snowman in your front yard that drew the association’s ire. That’s hard to miss if you’re a rules enforcer. You may as well just speed past a stopped school bus driven by an off-duty police officer.
The Simonis’ had a plausible explanation for their decorative hastiness; Claudia is expecting a baby on Christmas Day. Should that due date come early, holiday decorating would certainly take a back seat to other priorities. Sleep, for example.
Every year my wife and I rehash the “when should we decorate?” discussion. I insist no garland should be strung before Thanksgiving. My wife says I should ignore the calendar and watch the weather forecast after Halloween, taking advantage of whatever warm day Mother Nature throws Chicago’s way. Considering my hometown has already been the victim of snowfall, an ice storm and single digit wind chills, I may have missed that opportunity. But temperatures are forecast for the mid-50s the week before Thanksgiving. Do I break my rule for the privilege of decorating my house wearing just a light jacket? I recently returned from a business trip to find some of my neighbors were better weather prognosticators than I, as they had stealthily decorated prior to the cold snap. I hate them all equally.
What the Simonis’ failed to realize is there is a difference between erecting decorations and actually turning them on. An inflatable snowman could easily be deflated, correct? Why not just leave Frosty in a melted state on your front lawn and then, whenever your association deems to be the appropriate time, flip a switch and watch it roar to life? I have a neighbor who does this on a daily basis with an inflatable Santa and his reindeer. True, during the day, it looks like Blitzen and company had a horrific encounter with an 18-wheeler but the savings in electricity far outweighs any trauma suffered by neighborhood children.
My wife and I once discussed installing lights on a giant spruce in our backyard and leaving the strands on the branches year round. Every Thanksgiving night we would plug in an extension cord and…Merry Christmas! How easy would that be?
Plenty easy, and plenty fatal to our tree, according to our landscaper, once we ran the idea past him.
Each year I vow to tone down the decorating at my house, as my fear of ladders, along with my aching back, intensifies. And yet, with every strand of lights I string on the outdoor trees, I find myself saying, “As long as I’m out here, I can do one more.”
So Simonis’, I agree, a festively decorated house is a great way to embrace the holiday spirit. But for now, channel your energies towards that new baby. You’re responsible for teaching it everything.
Including the art of compromise with a Scrooge-like homeowner’s association.
Greg Schwem is a business humorist, motivational corporate comedian, corporate emcee, nationally syndicated humor columnist for Tribune Content Agency and creator of the web series, “A Comedian Crashes Your Pad.”
