When The Minister Meddles in Your Vows
So it was love at first bite
Jim: I think everyone here deserves to hear our story from the beginning. I had gone with Fred to see Scarface and this stranger sat next to me. I mistakenly put my hand in the stranger’s popcorn tub instead of Fred’s and this stranger having the habit of eating into the tub (instead of taking out the popcorn) bit my hand. We instantly fell in love.
Minister: So it was love at first bite?
Jim: Yeah kinda. Don’t interrupt me Man. So, I asked Fred after the movie how was it that such a pretty lady had come to see a movie like ‘Scarface’ and he sarcastically remarked —
Minister: That she had a lust for blood
Fred: Yes exactly! We hit the same notes minister.
Jim: Anyways. But his remark kinda turned out to be true. Julia only watches graphic and violent movies. No blood for 5 minutes and she loses interest. Fred also made the shitty joke that she went out with me only because she liked the way my flesh tasted (when she bit me)
Minister: You’re a riot kid! Where you from?
Fred: Brooklyn
Jim: Our families created somewhat friction initially. Her mother detested the many moles on my face and my peculiar method of getting on couches on all fours . She used to call me ‘Molar Bear’. My father hated my father in law’s flabby beagle like ears and said they made him throw up. But with time we got over the childish insults and started loving each other.
Minister: Could you speed it up just a little bit. I got a 4pm job interview to go to
Jim: Moving on. In the three years that we’ve been together we have seen many ups and downs. Julia went away to New York for a 6 month internship and it was kinda tough for us. I think the purity of our love and our mutual understanding kept it alive. Fred likes to kid that it was the unsavory flesh in New York but mine seems more feasible.
Minister: You found a girl yet Fred?
Fred: No still looking for my ‘popcorn stranger’.
Minister: Well no need to look for a minister. You have me at your service free of cost you son of a gun
Jim: Guess I should move onto the proposal story. Julia loves karate. So I thought we would be walking by randomly and I would stop suddenly and break the brick on the roadside by my hand and out of it would come the ring. But Fred here did not bring a faulty brick like I hoped and I broke my hand.
Fred: In my defense you never said anything about a faulty brick
Jim: I told you the brick should be genuine and I winked!
Fred: That was a wink? I thought something got into your eye! You need to work on your winking Molar bear.
Jim: Anyways Molar Bear started sobbing with the broken hand but luckily Julia herself was planning on proposing that day and so she took out the ring and put it on my finger.
