Humor

When You Ask Your Team To Introspect

We could wear the same grey shirt everyday like narcissistic CEO’s

Boss: Guys we kind of have an efficiency problem. I need some ideas from you. Be open and blunt. No idea is a bad idea.

Fred: We could wear the same grey shirt to work everyday like narcissistic CEO’s. That way when we spill mayonnaise on it, we won’t give a shit. Back to work guys, the mayo just made the dull shirt better.

Boss: How many manhours could have possibly been wasted by this.

Fred: As a fried food fanatic, I would like to tell you that a day without spilled mayo is a day wasted. I always keep two extra shirts in the trunk of my car.

George: I guess we need to set you up with someone. It will stop you from coming near our cubicles on a hourly basis and bursting your lungs about how your ex wife scammed you. We do love to hear it but it’s kind of repetitive to be honest. In every story, she says I guess you just don’t trust me and then you laugh giddily and say Of course I do. Only the story about how she had come to get her clothes but smuggled your dog in them was unique.

Fred: How did you guys meet by the way

Boss: We bumped into each other. She was on the phone. Oh shit. I think even that was planned. What do you think Freddie?

Fred: Of course it was planned. You don’t see Jeff Bezos passing by and not bump into him.

Boss: I don’t have Jeff Bezos kind of money

Fred: Now you don’t.

Boss: Any non personal ideas anyone?

Jessica: We need to teach the older guys about tech. John interrupts me everyday and makes me open his mails. He just has this shady guy sending him photos of a guinea pig trying out different cuisines. He isn’t even that cute —

Fred: Hey! Not one word against Mr. Waffles. Which is by the way his favorite food. It’s really a pity the guy isn’t getting any maple syrup to go along with it.