The Haven
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The Haven

Where Can A Russian Oligarch Put His Money? Mattresses Make a Comeback

Wealthy Russians can sleep easy on beds of cash but deliveries can be a nightmare

Photo by freemockups.org from Pexels

Russian mattress manufacturers are profiting from the economic sanctions on their country by selling custom-made mattresses to oligarchs who need a place to put their money.

As a growing number of western banks close their doors to Russia’s wealthy elite, oligarchs are finding it increasingly difficult to park their valuables. The crisis deepened when Switzerland joined the sanctions effort, depriving oligarchs of their Swiss bank accounts.

Oligarch Mattresses are big enough to fit a dictator-size bed — equivalent to five king-sized beds — and made of specially reinforced material strong enough to conceal wads of cash, gold bullion, and a wide range of valuables looted from the mother country. Sensors in the mattresses are wired to detect foreign governments trying to locate and confiscate the valuables. The mattresses also are fitted with heating devices that prevent the hidden assets from being frozen.

Manufacturers in Russia are struggling to keep up with demand for their new line of mattresses, and even the wealthiest oligarchs are waiting several weeks for deliveries. Some are resorting to temporary storage places for their cash such as reinforced sock draws and steel-plated piggy banks.

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K. B. Cottrill

K. B. Cottrill

Constantly losing the main plot while finding quirkier ones to write about for print, stage, and screen.