Where Do You Keep The Books I Can’t Find?

And Other Quirky Questions People Ask Librarians

Roz Warren
Jul 19, 2019 · 2 min read
Photo by Christopher Carson on Unsplash

One of the joys of working at a library is that we never know what our patrons will ask us next. Here’s a brief sampling of unusual, quirky or offbeat questions that people have recently asked librarians:

Do you have the book ‘Anne of the Seven Gables?’

What’s the best sandwich at Wendy’s? I’m sitting in the drive-thru and I don’t know what to order.

Will Agatha Christie be coming out with any new books soon?

Are your books in any particular order?

Can you find me photographs of the twelve apostles?

Does the post office sell stamps?

What happened in 1969?

How much does the world weigh?

I’m looking for books to help my bowels retract.

If I delete my email, will gmail get mad?

Where do you keep the books I can’t find?

Where’s the second floor?

Is it true pigs orgasm for 20 minutes?

Do you have a copy of ‘Wrath of the Grapevines?’

Can someone bring me toilet paper? (The call came from the library bathroom.)

How many 13 colonies are there?

What did the Bible say about holograms?

Is it okay to digest cremated remains?

Would it be illegal for me to stab my brother after he dies?

Does the library subscribe to ‘Orgasmic Gardening?’

I’m driving and I’m lost. What road am I on?

Your local public library may not have the answers to all of your questions, but we’ll do our best to help you find what you need to know. (And if anyone ever starts a magazine called Orgasmic Gardening? We’re definitely subscribing. )

Roz Warren is the author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY HUMOR. If you liked this library humor piece, you’ll probably like this one too)

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Roz Warren

Written by

Roz Warren, FBTA, (https://muckrack.com/roz-warren) writes for everyone from the New York Times to the Funny Times.

The Haven

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade