Why I Stopped Winking At People
Getting people confused is not cool
Winking is an art form in my universe.
If you’re not ready to master this magic trick, please leave it to the pros. You don’t have to end up as a meme trying to wink at someone. It’s really difficult to pull off, trust me.
Cats and dogs have mastered this form of art but I had to give up trying.
You’re probably asking yourself, how is closing and opening an eye quickly, a difficult task?
Let me explain…but first the unfunny part.
I was diagnosed with Bells Palsy which affected the left side of my face. In 2014, it came back, this time on my right side.
Ah, Bell’s Palsy — it's like going back to your ex. Didn’t we end it the first time, why come back for a second time?
Anyway, this condition happens to affect how you smile, eat, laugh, and wink at people.
Now that you have read that brief description, let me explain why I stopped winking at people.
1. Sending mixed signals
Winking at a woman may mean you’re flirting with her. It may also mean you’re sharing a secret or something of that sort.
Well, I tried winking at a girl in a restaurant and it was an epic fail. I ended up closing both eyes at the same time. She thought I was playing peekaboo with her. When I saw her covering her face with her hands, I knew my winking had failed.
2. Making friends angry
I was with a group of friends one time and we were talking about girls and lots of other stupid stuff men talk about.
One of my friends revealed a secret that he was cheating on his girlfriend and my eyes twitched. He winked at me. I think he did it so that I could reveal a secret too. I didn’t understand what was going on but my eyes kept twitching. The other guys thought he was cheating on her with me.
He got so angry trying to explain that he’s straight but my eyes kept twitching and everyone thought he was feeling embarrassed about it.
Eye twitching is very addictive. I couldn’t help myself.
3. Ruining a date
Going on a date with a crush is the dream of every guy. My dream came true on her birthday. We were having a diner date when she looked at me and winked. I knew she was into me so I decided to wink at her. It failed. I closed both eyes again.
This time though I was not going to give up so easily. I tried closing one eye several times but failed with each attempt.
I had to explain to her why I was making fun of her. I had no apparent reason. I confidently told her that I’m a blinking addict (whatever that means).
That moment convinced me to give up on being a winker (if such a term exists).
Since then, when someone winks at me, I draw a winking emoji and show it to them. It's just better this way. I’m consoled by people who can’t wink like Rihanna. That’s why I’m her biggest fan. At least we share a common interest — unwinking.
Thanks for reading! Simon is a screenplay writer and a travel lover. He loves sharing his life experiences through writing.
