SECOND-TIER SATIRE FROM THE CLICKBAIT CHRONICLE
Work Starting on New Prison in Palm Beach County
PALM BEACH, Florida — Dirt is moving in Palm Beach County on the site where the new Club Fed will be. This is the first phase in the plan aimed to expand the burgeoning prison industry while preparing for an influx of prisoners stemming from federal prosecutions. The project is being funded by the American Rescue Plan, which has caused some controversy.
In Palm Beach County, there will be positive economic impacts as this facility is built.
“A lot of prep work is being done for the site,” says Mayor Danielle Moore, “and the specifics of the design are being finalized.”
Moore says, “This is one of the largest projects in Palm Beach County that I’m aware of. Huge! So, I’m sure it will take some time, as we’ve all seen with the lingering challenges of the pandemic along with supply chain and inflationary impacts on the economy.”
Despite that, Moore says, “We expect the 18-hole golf course and hot tubs to be completed on time. And we’re in negotiations with KFC right now for an inside-the-wall facility.”
Original plans for the inclusion of a mental health facility have been scrapped. Fear that services would be inadequate to handle the needs led to abandonment of the idea.
Nonetheless, the economic impact on the county will be significant. “It’s a $30-plus million payroll. And this figure does not even include the cost of construction. The flow of federal money will certainly have a very positive economic impact on our community for years to come,” she said.
The projected economic impact is $180 million per year.
“I think first and foremost, what people think about is payroll, but you have to remember that if these construction people are being paid here with money from other states in our local community, then are they spending that money in our local community,” said Moore.
Asked about the rumor that the KFC facility may employ inmates and also service a minimum security drive-up window, the architectural firm of Grifton & Shamala declined to comment.
