Working from Home is the Best Thing Ever. Psych!

By Larry Kahaner

(Photo by Andrea Piacquadio at Pexels)

Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey told employees who are working from home to continue indefinitely. Don’t return to the office even after the pandemic subsides. Google officials told work-at-homers to stay put until at least July 2021, maybe forever.

You better be prepared if your boss kicks you the hell out of the office, because when you work from home…

… you learn that pens don’t magically appear in the cabinet at the end of the hall by Melanie’s desk. You have to buy them at, like, a store or something.

… you spend hours configuring the most compelling, yet businesslike, Zoom background. Then you keep changing it after you see the sick ones that your coworkers are using.

… the conversation around the coffeemaker can be one-sided. Even so, don’t discuss politics or religion with yourself.

… you’re shocked to discover that there’s no such thing as a celebratory sheet cake for one.

… your dry cleaner still waves ‘hello,’ but he doesn’t remember your name.

… the refrigerator is your friend.

… the refrigerator is your enemy.

… you still better not reheat fish in the microwave. (Didn’t you see the Post-it you left yourself?)

… when you call the IT department… wait, you’re the IT department.

… making employee of the year in your home office is definitely within reach.

… you still can’t smoke in the office, but legally you could. But you won’t. Will you?

… On Monday, you ask yourself, “So, how was your weekend?” You better come up with a solid answer or risk being the office bore.