Wrong Number Texts
Why won’t anyone play with me?
Every now and then I get a gift: a text from a number I don’t recognize. Probably a good number of these are attempts at pig-butchering, but not all.
Either way, each is an opportunity to play.
Here are a few I’ve saved over the years…
Hello?
In texting and instant messaging, if there’s one thing that bugs me the most, it’s the pointless “hello?” ping. It’s loaded with obligation — essentially saying “hey, I want you to talk to me, but I don’t want to do any of the work.”
Still… it’s bait I can’t resist.
And, of course, how could I respect myself if I didn’t pull out this obvious one…
Sometimes a simple “hey!” gets deep quickly…
Always be Ready to Help Out a Friend
The fun ones start with a plan already in motion…
This next one starts with a pushy unknown texter making three mistakes in one shot:
- Clearly misspelled my name.
- Assumed that I would go shopping. I hate shopping.
- Implied that 9pm is still “afternoon.” Alaska much?
The Old “What Are You Doing Now” Trick Question
Set me up. Please.
I have to wonder: what kind of response did they expect?
I Love a Challenge
This next one was quite the oddity — a spam attack of pictures followed by an unexpected question.
Fortunately, I had the answer.
But ok, sure, when the questions are easy… what about a hard one?
The challenge: a list of requirements straight out of the blue…
Challenge accepted!
Here’s the link for those that agree that this is a reasonable suggestion: http://www.twice-cooked.com/2014/09/28/klingon-gagh/
Invitations
When opportunity knocks, you open the door.
Credit Where Credit is Due
When someone compliments you on the weather, remember to say thank you.
The Long Tail
Finally, this last one lit a fire that wouldn’t go out.
In conclusion, I would just like to ask a simple favor.
Text me?