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You Should Listen to Me, I’m a Top Writer in Advice

No one said it had to be good advice

David Caracciolo

Now that I’m a Top Writer in Advice, I feel obligated to give it. The problem is, no one said it had to be good advice…

Get over Your Ex in One Easy Step

Wait till he or she is dead. You may want to speed up the process, but that would add a whole bunch of extra steps such as hiding the murder weapon.

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If you’d rather not commit a felony, wait until your ex is sleeping. Preferably on the floor. Then get really close. Lift one foot and hover it over your ex’s body. Then place your foot over to the other side. Once your foot makes contact with the ground, repeat for the other foot.

There you go… over your ex in one easy step. You’re welcome.

Wasabi Is Japanese for Guacamole

Next time you’re out on a hot date, be sure to take him or her to a Japanese restaurant and order extra Wasabi on top. The waiter won’t know what to do and your date will be so impressed by your culinary prowess.

It is customary in Asian cultures to serve your guest first to show them how much you love them. Like garlic sauce on a kebab, you wanna spread that green stuff all over the place. Your date will be so grateful, they won’t be able to contain their emotions.

Photo by Andrea Bertozzini on Unsplash

Wasabi is a powerful aphrodisiac that’s sure to get the heart throbbing throughout the night. Expect plenty of fireworks in the bedroom.

Tell People You’re a Top Writer In…

Becoming a Top Writer on Medium gives you the authority to stop people on the street and tell them your opinion on any matter and they have to listen.

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If anyone questions your sanity, just show them you’re a Top Writer in Mental Health. If they say, “Mind your own business,” tell them you’re a Top Writer in both Business and Privacy. Lastly, if they tell you to “Get a life!” show them you’ve already got Life.

That’s it for the free advice. Once I earn Top Writer in Finance, I’ll start charging. There are so many tags you can become a Top Writer for… I hope to get at least one of them in Future.

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

David Caracciolo

Written by

I like big PUNS and I can not lie. You other writers can't deny

The Haven

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk