Your Honor, My Client Smells Of Cadbury Egg

Justice may be blind, but it can still smell.

Your honor, I must request a recess. My client smells like Cadbury eggs despite telling me he had none left.

I understand the trial has just begun, but I need to sort through this issue with my client immediately. He is now insisting the smell I’m detecting is “residual” — as if I wouldn’t know the difference between a residual bag-smell and the presence of a fresh Cadbury egg.

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Yes, your honor: I understand that Cadbury eggs make me sick, and that twice I have choked on Cadbury eggs in front of you in this very courtroom. On several occasions, I have put too many in my mouth at one time. But whether I am willing to risk these outcomes is my decision, not my client’s, and I have reason to believe he is depriving me of this basic right.

I will admit that my client showed me his empty Cadbury egg bag when I asked for some ahead of today’s proceedings. But that does not mean my client did not store Cadbury eggs in his pockets to conceal them from me. Judging by the strong scent of Cadbury egg surrounding my client right now, I believe this is what he has done. If it pleases the court, I would like to take a recess to determine…