You’re Not Making Money With Your Writing Because You’re A Russian Spy

And other reasons the “gurus” on Medium think you’re a loser.

Medium is infested with articles that try to tell you why you are a poor writer, living off rat intestines in some god-forsaken city sewer.

“You lack hustle.”

“You’re focused on vanity metrics.”

“You’re dyslexic.”

I’ve read them all, but none come close to nailing down the main reasons you’re not making any money from your writing. Fear not — I’m here to give you some straight talk. I can’t guarantee you’ll make any money, but at least you can identify the issues holding you back.

You’re a Russian Spy

This one is pretty obvious. I’ve read your articles:

“How To Make Money Writing About Putin”

“Ten Tips To Make Your Sentences Pop (Hint: Write About Putin)”

“Building An Audience of Putin Loyalists Online”

It’s time to drop the act. I’m onto you, and no one wants to read your Russian propaganda. This is America — land of the free BECAUSE of the brave. Dan Brown is the only writer who makes any money as a Russian spy and has no plans to share the secrets of his…