Homepage
Open in app
Sign in
Get started
The Haven
A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk
About
Haven Animation
Clem Samson
Larry Lambert
Archives
Write/Support
School
Follow
FUNNY STUFF
Intrusive Thoughts While Attempting Tai Chi And Qigong
Intrusive Thoughts While Attempting Tai Chi And Qigong
Am I about to pass out or kick your ass?
Catherine Durkin Robinson
Apr 19
connecting dots
connecting dots
poems help me savor words
Lara Starsearch
Apr 19
Things To Do When We’re Dead.
Things To Do When We’re Dead.
It seems dying isn’t so much the end as the beginning.
Robert Cormack
Apr 18
Minutes of Divisional Board Meeting Q4/18 [Hermit-crab fiction]
Minutes of Divisional Board Meeting Q4/18 [Hermit-crab fiction]
‘KD said that women had a right to be treated respectfully, even the ugly ones. He added that this was a joke, and should not be minuted.’
dan brotzel
Apr 18
Did I Forget to Put on Deodorant?
Did I Forget to Put on Deodorant?
I think I skipped a step.
Ryan Redmond
Apr 18
Choose Your Own Misadventure: You Are Insane but Having a Blast — Part 6
Choose Your Own Misadventure: You Are Insane but Having a Blast — Part 6
Part Six of an ongoing interactive story … with zero interaction.
Jake Rudquist
Apr 18
Drumpf Strikes Out
Drumpf Strikes Out
Hopes to buy more strikes on the open market
Phillip T Stephens
Apr 17
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume Eighty
Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume Eighty
Wise-ass comments of mine that garnered thousands of claps …(or will, as soon as I figure out how to self-applaud)
Elizabeth Emerald
Apr 17
Italian Isn’t As Much Like Spanish as She Thought
Italian Isn’t As Much Like Spanish as She Thought
Our friend found out the hard way on her trip to Italy
Elle Beau ❇︎
Apr 17
It’s Time You Knew the Truth About Me: My Blue Eyes Are Also Sometimes Green
It’s Time You Knew the Truth About Me: My Blue Eyes Are Also Sometimes Green
I Haven’t Been Completely Honest with You
Yan Benink
Apr 17
Sydney Sweeney Is Pretty
Sydney Sweeney Is Pretty
And is a great actress
Christine Stevens
Apr 17
Scientists: Psychology Is Not Very Scientific
Scientists: Psychology Is Not Very Scientific
So what the hell is your therapist talking about exactly?
Clem Samson
Apr 17
AI May Drive Us Crazy
AI May Drive Us Crazy
The end of civilization may be in the near future
Brian Dickens Barrabee
Apr 17
The Audaciousness of Positivity
The Audaciousness of Positivity
Who do these people think they are?
Kyle Wells
Apr 17
Listing To Port [Hermit-crab fiction]
Listing To Port [Hermit-crab fiction]
‘Blueberries, raspberries etc. Milk. Condoms. Furry handcuffs?? Polyfilla.’
dan brotzel
Apr 17
Color Me Gone
Color Me Gone
Till I see you again
Spyder Darling
Apr 17
Fortune Cookie Theatre
Fortune Cookie Theatre
All captions are from fortune cookies collected after dining in San Francisco
James S. Baker
Apr 17
Golfing With Grandma
Golfing With Grandma
It could be the experience of a lifetime.
Quentin Plume
Apr 17
Scientists: You Are An Ape
Scientists: You Are An Ape
No wonder your room is such a mess!
Clem Samson
Apr 16
Your Stuffed Animal Fails to Emotionally Support Me
The yowling started shortly after I folded myself into seat 6C on the Southwest flight from Washington, D.C., to Chicago. It was coming…
Greg Schwem
Apr 16
Active And Passive Voice [Hermit-crab fiction]
Active And Passive Voice [Hermit-crab fiction]
‘If the doer is known as the agent, the recipient of the action is known as the patient. And by god, she had been.’
dan brotzel
Apr 16
Why, A.I.?
Why, A.I.?
Will you ever die?
Brian Theobald
Apr 16
Man Asks Female Friends for Advice On Dating Profile, Makes Shocking Discovery
Man Asks Female Friends for Advice On Dating Profile, Makes Shocking Discovery
DAYTON, OH — A local man in Dayton, Ohio, is shocked after asking his female friends for advice about his dating profile.
Phoebe Soemers
Apr 16
Clever Ways To Gatekeep Your Wardrobe
Clever Ways To Gatekeep Your Wardrobe
Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss
Yina
Apr 16
What the Mirror Wants
What the Mirror Wants
“What’s wrong with me? Do I even exist?”
John K Adams
Apr 16
Feedback Sandwich
Feedback Sandwich
Extra reverb, hold the mayo
Spyder Darling
Apr 16
I’m A Love Fraud Matchmaker
I’m A Love Fraud Matchmaker
in the Land of Cyber Scams
Mike Player
Apr 16
“Day of a Man With a Family” — A Short Story by Milton Besser
“Day of a Man With a Family” — A Short Story by Milton Besser
Part Two
Speaking Fiction To Power
Apr 16
Trump Whines Judge’s Ruling Means He Can’t Attend Barron’s Graduation
Trump Whines Judge’s Ruling Means He Can’t Attend Barron’s Graduation
Of course, he could always plead guilty and this trial would be over quickly.
Johnny Robish
Apr 15
Scientists: Your Sole Purpose Is Reproduction
Scientists: Your Sole Purpose Is Reproduction
Don’t try to look for more meaning than that
Clem Samson
Apr 15
About The Haven
Latest Stories
Archive
About Medium
Terms
Privacy
Teams