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The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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  • FUNNY STUFF
    You Will Stay Broke Forever If You Keep Listening to People Who Don’t Have Money

    You Will Stay Broke Forever If You Keep Listening to People Who Don’t Have Money

    Most Advice Is Just Fear in Disguise Dressed Up as Wisdom
    Go to the profile of Simasiku Mazunga
    Simasiku Mazunga
    Jul 13
    29 Terms For the Sexual Act and How To Use Them

    29 Terms For the Sexual Act and How To Use Them

    Have fun while expanding your vocabulary
    Go to the profile of Patrick Metzger
    Patrick Metzger
    Jul 13
    Trump’s Tariff Formula Revealed

    Trump’s Tariff Formula Revealed

    The Art of the Squeal: How Hurt Feelings Became Trade Policy
    Go to the profile of Peggy Jones
    Peggy Jones
    Jul 13
    Happy ScarJo Day

    Happy ScarJo Day

    So let go of your fear and get “Jurass” in gear!
    Go to the profile of Spyder Darling
    Spyder Darling
    Jul 13
    The Great Vulgarization

    The Great Vulgarization

    The air in Pear Inc.’s ‘Crystal Womb’ ideation space was a tactile sensory experience you could chew, if your jaw possessed the disruptive…
    Go to the profile of Dimitry Partsi
    Dimitry Partsi
    Jul 13
    Drink Life All The Way Into Your Soul

    Drink Life All The Way Into Your Soul

    Why not? Shouldn’t we all be drinking life all the way down, down deep into our core, what some people call our soul?
    Go to the profile of Clem Samson
    Clem Samson
    Jul 12
    Clarence Thomas Meets with Satan

    Clarence Thomas Meets with Satan

    The Prince of Darkness had several questions
    Go to the profile of Jean Campbell
    Jean Campbell
    Jul 12
    Texas Flood: Greg Abbott drops the ball

    Texas Flood: Greg Abbott drops the ball

    As floodwaters swallowed Texas towns, Greg Abbott dodged blame with football metaphors while Kristi Noem grabbed a pom-pom.
    Go to the profile of Peggy Jones
    Peggy Jones
    Jul 12
    Crash the Car. Earn the Jackpot.

    Crash the Car. Earn the Jackpot.

    A tragic tale of automotive damage, moral damage, and one extremely helpful sibling with flexible ethics.
    Go to the profile of KYG
    KYG
    Jul 12
    Let’s Add Another Reason to Celebrate Independence Day

    Let’s Add Another Reason to Celebrate Independence Day

    People across the country recently celebrated Independence Day by getting together with family and friends, cooking hamburgers on the…
    Go to the profile of Eric Milch
    Eric Milch
    Jul 12
    Reasons I, Your Memory Foam Mattress, Wish I Had Amnesia

    Reasons I, Your Memory Foam Mattress, Wish I Had Amnesia

    I’ve seen some horrifying things I can’t forget.
    Go to the profile of Jen Metcalf🍷
    Jen Metcalf🍷
    Jul 12
    Nobel Peace Prize For Trump?

    Nobel Peace Prize For Trump?

    Wait! More deserved awards available…
    Go to the profile of Christopher Holdroyd
    Christopher Holdroyd
    Jul 11
    Look What Disco Did to My Life

    Look What Disco Did to My Life

    It made polyester my religion and Donna Summer my savior
    Go to the profile of Allen R Smith
    Allen R Smith
    Jul 11
    We Are Not Going to Save the Planet by Hugging Trees

    We Are Not Going to Save the Planet by Hugging Trees

    The future of sustainability belongs to those who understand venture capital better than they understand compost
    Go to the profile of Simasiku Mazunga
    Simasiku Mazunga
    Jul 11
    Kids Ruin Everything

    Kids Ruin Everything

    How Two Little Tornadoes Sabotaged My Career.
    Go to the profile of Ravi Bhaskar
    Ravi Bhaskar
    Jul 11
    “Where’d You Learn English?”

    “Where’d You Learn English?”

    President Trump’s Geography Bee Strikes Again
    Go to the profile of Peggy Jones
    Peggy Jones
    Jul 11
    Pam Bondi’s Desk Ate the Epstein File

    Pam Bondi’s Desk Ate the Epstein File

    So I’m mailing her my bills
    Go to the profile of Peggy Jones
    Peggy Jones
    Jul 10
    The Planet Will Not Forgive Us

    The Planet Will Not Forgive Us

    Nature Has a Memory Longer Than Any Civilization
    Go to the profile of Simasiku Mazunga
    Simasiku Mazunga
    Jul 10
    Jaguar: It Was Just a Nightmare

    Jaguar: It Was Just a Nightmare

    A fantasy brand comeback
    Go to the profile of Paul Maglione
    Paul Maglione
    Jul 10
    Gifted People are Forgiven

    Gifted People are Forgiven

    Ever notice how creative peoples’ eccentricities are expected.
    Go to the profile of Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Jul 9
    The Best and Worst of People

    The Best and Worst of People

    Yakov sat on the barstool beside me, and we began to talk about my toenail fungus.
    Go to the profile of Royal Alvis
    Royal Alvis
    Jul 9
    The Art of Being Original

    The Art of Being Original

    When magic begins where imitation ends.
    Go to the profile of Md Jishan
    Md Jishan
    Jul 9
    What If I Just Pushed Him Down The Stairs?

    What If I Just Pushed Him Down The Stairs?

    From secret desires to death wishes, we all think things we’re not allowed to. Why?
    Go to the profile of dan brotzel
    dan brotzel
    Jul 9
    Top Alternatives to Alligator Alcatraz

    Top Alternatives to Alligator Alcatraz

    It Only Gets Worse From Here
    Go to the profile of David Volk
    David Volk
    Jul 9
    When They Go For Hair.

    When They Go For Hair.

    The eagle had issues, but so did Trump.
    Go to the profile of Robert Cormack
    Robert Cormack
    Jul 9
    The Optimist

    The Optimist

    A Bicostal Disorder
    Go to the profile of Spyder Darling
    Spyder Darling
    Jul 8
    Burrito Diaries: The engineering notebook of Kim Jong Il

    Burrito Diaries: The engineering notebook of Kim Jong Il

    North Korea claims Kim Jong Il invented the burrito — New York Post, 01/05/2022
    Go to the profile of David Guaspari
    David Guaspari
    Jul 8
    The Cabinet Of Dr. Calamari

    The Cabinet Of Dr. Calamari

    The strangest, unsettling cast of characters ever to “serve” America
    Go to the profile of Christyl Rivers, Phd.
    Christyl Rivers, Phd.
    Jul 8
    My New Doctor and Me

    My New Doctor and Me

    Matters of the heart, but no love affair
    Go to the profile of Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Jul 8
    Some People Seem to Get Away With Murder

    Some People Seem to Get Away With Murder

    And they aren’t even in politics
    Go to the profile of Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Jul 7
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