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FUNNY STUFF
A Student Freed from Obsessive Ambition
A Student Freed from Obsessive Ambition
As spring tries valiantly to make an appearance in the deep north.
Clem Samson
Mar 26
Your Sneeze Will Arrive In 5–8 Business Days
Your Sneeze Will Arrive In 5–8 Business Days
Gesundheit
Miles-Erik Bell
Mar 26
The P.O.I.L.I.E.V.R.E. System
The P.O.I.L.I.E.V.R.E. System
His backstory will astound you!
This, That & the Other Thing
Mar 26
SENIOR SHTICK …rimshot please by Joe ‘Kirsch’ Curcio www.GreenpointMusic.com
SENIOR SHTICK …rimshot please by Joe ‘Kirsch’ Curcio www.GreenpointMusic.com
SENIOR SHTICK …rimshot please by Joe ‘Kirsch’ Curcio www.GreenpointMusic.com
JoeKirsch
Mar 26
Exclusive: Unpublished Portion of Signal War Planning Chat
Exclusive: Unpublished Portion of Signal War Planning Chat
New Reporting Reveals Spirited Exchanges About Bombing of Yemen, Hit TV Show White Lotus
Rich Taylor
Mar 25
Help! My Boyfriend Prefers Jerking Off Over Having Sex With Me
Help! My Boyfriend Prefers Jerking Off Over Having Sex With Me
His Addiction Is Destroying Their Love Life!
Amara Celestine
Mar 25
A How-To Guide on Ethical Alien Abductions
A How-To Guide on Ethical Alien Abductions
A Notice from the Galactic Federation Department of Interplanetary Conduct
Alex Lago
Mar 25
Satire Writers Sue Trump Administration
Satire Writers Sue Trump Administration
“Livelihoods in peril,” says group spokesperson
Mitch Trachtenberg
Mar 25
Why Am I Here?
Why Am I Here?
Either my wife’s being existential or a Great Dane.
Robert Cormack
Mar 25
Student: Spain Isn’t Living Up To My Expectations
Student: Spain Isn’t Living Up To My Expectations
Teacher: That’s great news!
Clem Samson
Mar 25
She’s Bisexual… and She Uses it as a Weapon in Marriage
She’s Bisexual… and She Uses it as a Weapon in Marriage
Now, He Feels Trapped!
Amara Celestine
Mar 25
Give me One Example Where Trump Was Racist
Give me One Example Where Trump Was Racist
Okay okay — stop! That’s enough
JoJo M
Mar 24
A Notice on Alien Abduction in the Galactic Federation
A Notice on Alien Abduction in the Galactic Federation
Addressing Zuckerberg’s Recent Actions on Earth
Alex Lago
Mar 24
Arrested Trying to Save a Woman
Arrested Trying to Save a Woman
I was a hero in my own mind
Brian Dickens Barrabee
Mar 24
Trans Fur
President Donald J. Trump highlighted many of the egregious examples of waste, fraud, and abuse funded by American taxpayers, including $8…
Seth Freeman
Mar 24
Feminism, Feminism (Bad Boy Bad Boy, Whatcha Gonna Do?)
Feminism, Feminism (Bad Boy Bad Boy, Whatcha Gonna Do?)
You know what lets down the cause of feminism?
Fatchecker
Mar 24
Can A Woman Be Friend-Zoned? Hell, Yeah!
Can A Woman Be Friend-Zoned? Hell, Yeah!
It happened to me — and it drove me red hot crazy with lust, confusion and the urge to break things
Christine Stevens
Mar 23
Student: I’ve Made So Many Mistakes
Student: I’ve Made So Many Mistakes
Teacher: There Are No Mistakes
Clem Samson
Mar 23
An Open Letter to (P)resident Trump
An Open Letter to (P)resident Trump
Dear Baby-Man,
David Volk
Mar 23
6 Years Ago, My Wife Had A ‘sleepover’ With A Guy
6 Years Ago, My Wife Had A ‘sleepover’ With A Guy
Would You Forgive This? My Wife’s 7-Year-Old Secret Just Came Out!
Amara Celestine
Mar 23
University Police Safety Day: A Harmless and Completely Controlled Event
University Police Safety Day: A Harmless and Completely Controlled Event
Written by: University Department of Public Safety *Strikethroughs in bold* and edits in italics from the Office of Student Affairs.
Shayne Buchwald-Nickoles
Mar 23
I Was a Cross-Dresser for a Day
I Was a Cross-Dresser for a Day
Would I be condemned to a lifetime of ridicule from narrow minded John/Jane Q. Public
Brian Dickens Barrabee
Mar 23
Student and Teacher: The Moment Of Enlightenment With Regard To Emotions
Student and Teacher: The Moment Of Enlightenment With Regard To Emotions
I met Elena again in the park where we first discussed the Labyrinth of Emotions. The trees were whispering softly, their rustling leaves…
Clem Samson
Mar 23
Bra or No Bra? What’s Really Best for Your Breasts While You Sleep?
Bra or No Bra? What’s Really Best for Your Breasts While You Sleep?
Sleeping with a Bra — Healthy Habit or Hidden Danger?
Amara Celestine
Mar 23
Florida Man Discovers Swallowing Diamonds Was A Bad Plan.
Florida Man Discovers Swallowing Diamonds Was A Bad Plan.
Spoiler: The only thing shinier than the earrings was his lack of common sense.
Mike G
Mar 23
Top Fifty Pirate Jokes
Top Fifty Pirate Jokes
Shiver your timbers with these fifty puns o’ fun!
Spyder Darling
Mar 23
My cat Ran Away From Home
My cat Ran Away From Home
But at least he left me a note
Amysusanrose
Mar 23
Elon Musk Begs Vandals to Firebomb Tesla Cars to Help Him Recoup Lost Revenue Via Insurance Payouts
Elon Musk Begs Vandals to Firebomb Tesla Cars to Help Him Recoup Lost Revenue Via Insurance Payouts
Burn, Baby Burn
Ellie Salvaje
Mar 23
Tesla Fixes Recalled Cybertrucks with Duct Tape, But Can’t Find the Owners
Tesla Fixes Recalled Cybertrucks with Duct Tape, But Can’t Find the Owners
The government will pay bounty hunters who bring in owners with empty federal buildings.
K. B. Cottrill
Mar 23
CHOICES…please hold the vagina
CHOICES…please hold the vagina
CHOICES…please hold the vagina by Joe ‘Kirsch’ Curcio www.GreenpointMusic.com
JoeKirsch
Mar 23
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