Homepage
Open in app
Sign in
Get started
The Haven
A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk
About
Yay Books!
Haven Animation
Clem Samson
Archives
Write/Support
School
Follow
FUNNY STUFF
Scientists: Create A Post-Ego Club Today — How to Organize Your Local Chapter
Scientists: Create A Post-Ego Club Today — How to Organize Your Local Chapter
First Rule of Post-Ego Club — There is No Post-Ego Club
Clem Samson
Dec 9
My Mom Opened a Bakery and It’d Be Nice If She Hand Some Grandkids Who Could Come And See It…
My Mom Opened a Bakery and It’d Be Nice If She Hand Some Grandkids Who Could Come And See It…
You know, before she’s dead.
Elizabeth is Dead
Dec 9
Healthcare CEO Denied Coverage After Being Shot
Healthcare CEO Denied Coverage After Being Shot
“We regret to inform you…”
Brian Theobald
Dec 9
Woman Finds Missing Sock After 10 Years, Now Accused of Time Travel
Woman Finds Missing Sock After 10 Years, Now Accused of Time Travel
Situation Overstate
Mike G
Dec 9
Christmas by Ignatowski — (Part Three)
Christmas by Ignatowski — (Part Three)
A continuation of a long ago rejected TV script
Speaking Fiction To Power
Dec 9
Kids, Gods, and Punishment
Kids, Gods, and Punishment
Out of the mouths of babes
Gauri Sirur
Dec 9
Invasion of The Body Shapers.
Invasion of The Body Shapers.
Is it really like stuffing a sleeping bag into a sack?
Robert Cormack
Dec 9
Drumpf Selects Burns for Commerce Secretary
Drumpf Selects Burns for Commerce Secretary
Burns promises to set hounds on enemies of commerce
Phillip T Stephens
Dec 8
39 Of The Most Beautiful Women In History
39 Of The Most Beautiful Women In History
All you have to do is click on them!
Christine Stevens
Dec 8
Trump’s Foreign Policy
Trump’s Foreign Policy
Global Pub Brawl Edition
Travel Explore Protect
Dec 8
I Have Legs?
I Have Legs?
Dear Lord, thank you for telling me
Mike Hickman
Dec 8
Mystery of the Man “Upstairs”
Mystery of the Man “Upstairs”
“Separated” couple to reunite? Wife says yes … eventually
Elizabeth Emerald
Dec 8
A Life In Cancelled Checks
A Life In Cancelled Checks
It’s all over but the shredding
Spyder Darling
Dec 8
The Grift of the Magi
The Grift of the Magi
A Short Story
Kelly Ronayne
Dec 8
I Didn’t Expect Trump’s Election Would Make My Dating Life Great Again
I Didn’t Expect Trump’s Election Would Make My Dating Life Great Again
I immediately noticed the difference on Tinder. I had ten times more matches than usual. And more than twenty men had superliked me.
Honorata Onanisma
Dec 8
Santa Scandal! Chris Kringle Has Been a Very Naughty Boy!
Santa Scandal! Chris Kringle Has Been a Very Naughty Boy!
Christmas isn’t cancelled but Santa could be…
Adam Robinson
Dec 8
Scientists: You Are Utterly Alone
Scientists: You Are Utterly Alone
The human ego is the loneliest structure in the entire universe
Clem Samson
Dec 7
Mindful Ingratitude Practice
Mindful Ingratitude Practice
For the holiday season
Carlo Zeno
Dec 7
Medical test confirms: I have iPhone Alzheimers.
Medical test confirms: I have iPhone Alzheimers.
It’s not medically recognized yet but it’s a niche dementia
Matt Walsh
Dec 7
Dating Advice: Motorcycles Can Replace Vibrators.
Dating Advice: Motorcycles Can Replace Vibrators.
Or men, for that matter.
Robert Cormack
Dec 7
Buying Government
Buying Government
The extravagance of Presidential elections
Derek J. Allison
Dec 7
My Wife Accused My Dog of Toxic Masculinity
My Wife Accused My Dog of Toxic Masculinity
When Your Dog Needs a Lesson in Consent
Dan Foster
Dec 7
The Explosion of My Friend’s Head
The Explosion of My Friend’s Head
Microfeminism brought on his spectacular demise
Brian Dickens Barrabee
Dec 6
What To Do When Your Pretentious College Roommate Discovers David Foster Wallace
What To Do When Your Pretentious College Roommate Discovers David Foster Wallace
1. Don’t bring up Infinite Jest. Just don’t. Look, we’ve all claimed to have read it. And if you actually have read it — including the…
S.L. Neechski
Dec 6
Can You Kill a Happy Plant When It’s Overtaking the Space You Gave it?
Can You Kill a Happy Plant When It’s Overtaking the Space You Gave it?
I think I can, I think I can, oh no, I can’t
Jill Ebstein
Dec 6
Nate Silver is Talking Out His Ass
Nate Silver is Talking Out His Ass
(My model predicts with 99.9% accuracy.)
Ross Rosenfeld
Dec 6
Invasive Species We Accidentally Unleashed
Invasive Species We Accidentally Unleashed
Oops, That’s on Us
Travel Explore Protect
Dec 6
Healthcare CEO Killed, Americans Mourn Loss of Those Screwed Over By Industry
Healthcare CEO Killed, Americans Mourn Loss of Those Screwed Over By Industry
“What kind of world are we living in?”
Brian Theobald
Dec 6
When Is a $60 Gift Card Not Worth $60?
When Is a $60 Gift Card Not Worth $60?
When It’s Worth $100.
David Volk
Dec 6
“Deadly” Misunderstanding
“Deadly” Misunderstanding
What a difference a word makes: I almost started a rumor!
Elizabeth Emerald
Dec 6
About The Haven
Latest Stories
Archive
About Medium
Terms
Privacy
Teams