Homepage
Open in app
Sign inGet started

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

  • About
  • Yay Books!
  • Haven Animation
  • Clem Samson
  • Archives
  • Write/Support
  • School
  • FUNNY STUFF
    Up to My Ass in “Nano-Fame”

    Up to My Ass in “Nano-Fame”

    It’s still better than being “micro-dicked”
    Go to the profile of SC Thompson
    SC Thompson
    Jun 24
    Mouth Rushmore

    Mouth Rushmore

    Carving Donald J. Trump’s greatest misquotes into stone
    Go to the profile of Allen R Smith
    Allen R Smith
    Jun 24
    The Tao Of Spyder: Part IV

    The Tao Of Spyder: Part IV

    At last, another fifty nifty rules to live your best life by!
    Go to the profile of Spyder Darling
    Spyder Darling
    Jun 24
    Why The Holy Land Is Holy Hell

    Why The Holy Land Is Holy Hell

    From the prophetic dignity of the great patriarchs to the indignity of Coca Cola
    Go to the profile of Christyl Rivers, Phd.
    Christyl Rivers, Phd.
    Jun 24
    Mark Zuckerberg Attempts to Be in Trump’s Good Graces by Transitioning Into a Blonde Woman

    Mark Zuckerberg Attempts to Be in Trump’s Good Graces by Transitioning Into a Blonde Woman

    Daddy’s Girl
    Go to the profile of Ellie Salvaje
    Ellie Salvaje
    Jun 24
    Everybody’s Stupid; Just In Different Subjects

    Everybody’s Stupid; Just In Different Subjects

    And everyone possesses genius but only in strokes
    Go to the profile of Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Jun 24
    The Ultimate Container For Your Ecstasy, Bliss and Rapture Is Bigger than the Entire Universe…

    The Ultimate Container For Your Ecstasy, Bliss and Rapture Is Bigger than the Entire Universe…

    The technique for joyous enlightenment, based on the very latest cutting-edge science
    Go to the profile of Clem Samson
    Clem Samson
    Jun 23
    Breaking Broken News

    Breaking Broken News

    some current events around the airstrikes in iran
    Go to the profile of David August
    David August
    Jun 23
    I’ve Been Sent to Make You Happy

    I’ve Been Sent to Make You Happy

    Just enjoy me, okay?
    Go to the profile of Christine's Adventures
    Christine's Adventures
    Jun 23
    Neoconservatives Seen Dancing in the Streets of DC and New York

    Neoconservatives Seen Dancing in the Streets of DC and New York

    In celebration of Trump’s airstrikes on Iran
    Go to the profile of Scott Christenson🌴
    Scott Christenson🌴
    Jun 23
    How to Nail Your Next Job Interview

    How to Nail Your Next Job Interview

    Amazing tips to wow potential clients and employers
    Go to the profile of Sarah Paris
    Sarah Paris
    Jun 23
    Bullshit Likely to Be Spreading Throughout the Midwest During the Later Parts of June

    Bullshit Likely to Be Spreading Throughout the Midwest During the Later Parts of June

    According to weather reports that are consistently wrong as well as radar that doesn’t really work all the time, some bullshit will begin…
    Go to the profile of Wesley Jansen
    Wesley Jansen
    Jun 23
    Preacher’s Daughter

    Preacher’s Daughter

    If you ain’t heard, then boy you ought a
    Go to the profile of Spyder Darling
    Spyder Darling
    Jun 23
    Trump Takes On FIFA

    Trump Takes On FIFA

    And what’s with that round ball?
    Go to the profile of David Martin
    David Martin
    Jun 23
    Read This on the Day You’re About to Give Up

    Read This on the Day You’re About to Give Up

    Because I know what it feels like to have no proof it’s working — and keep showing up anyway.
    Go to the profile of Alaric Voss
    Alaric Voss
    Jun 23
    Delays Are Redirection

    Delays Are Redirection

    I often find myself daydreaming during quiet moments — reflecting on life, replaying memories, wondering about the “what ifs.” It’s one of…
    Go to the profile of Justine Galapon
    Justine Galapon
    Jun 22
    Day 35 on the Post-Ego Path: The Sacred in the Supermarket

    Day 35 on the Post-Ego Path: The Sacred in the Supermarket

    RHAPSODY: EVERY AISLE IS A TEMPLE
    Go to the profile of Clem Samson
    Clem Samson
    Jun 22
    Sex With A Sexpert

    Sex With A Sexpert

    Some things you need to know before you bed a connoisseur
    Go to the profile of Christine's Adventures
    Christine's Adventures
    Jun 22
    How Not to Self-Publish a Book (Unless You Enjoy Screaming Into the Void)

    How Not to Self-Publish a Book (Unless You Enjoy Screaming Into the Void)

    You wrote the book. Now here’s how to ruin the release.
    Go to the profile of A.L. Bellettiere (Anna Louise Bellettiere-Kuyper)
    A.L. Bellettiere (Anna Louise Bellettiere-Kuyper)
    Jun 22
    The Comedy of Being Human

    The Comedy of Being Human

    Life feels difficult.
    Go to the profile of Md Jishan
    Md Jishan
    Jun 22
    The Silly Salad and a Fresh Scandal

    The Silly Salad and a Fresh Scandal

    One man, One salad, One deeply misunderstood burger
    Go to the profile of KYG
    KYG
    Jun 22
    Men! Beware of the Witches of Tinder!

    Men! Beware of the Witches of Tinder!

    It’s a whole subculture of women
    Go to the profile of Honorata Onanisma
    Honorata Onanisma
    Jun 21
    The Trouble With Beauty

    The Trouble With Beauty

    There’s only one winner in the battle for her body
    Go to the profile of Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Brian Dickens Barrabee
    Jun 20
    LipService Media

    LipService Media

    A Truly True Help Wanted Advertisement
    Go to the profile of Solange
    Solange
    Jun 20
    She Hates Life as a Housewife — and Blames Her Husband for It…

    She Hates Life as a Housewife — and Blames Her Husband for It…

    Behind the Smile, a Silent Scream…
    Go to the profile of Amara Celestine
    Amara Celestine
    Jun 20
    Top Reasons Kristi Noem Disappeared

    Top Reasons Kristi Noem Disappeared

    The Truth Bit Her In The Ass
    Go to the profile of David Volk
    David Volk
    Jun 20
    161 Signed Executive Orders

    161 Signed Executive Orders

    The symbolic, redundant, the low-priority
    Go to the profile of Allen R Smith
    Allen R Smith
    Jun 20
    How You Lose Yourself — Without Realizing It’s Happening

    How You Lose Yourself — Without Realizing It’s Happening

    You don’t wake up one day feeling broken. You just stop keeping your word, one quiet compromise at a time.
    Go to the profile of Alaric Voss
    Alaric Voss
    Jun 20
    The Strange and Lonely Journey of the Self (and How to Finally Leave It Behind)

    The Strange and Lonely Journey of the Self (and How to Finally Leave It Behind)

    Human beings have spent thousands of years desperately searching for their “selves,” yet no one seems able to find exactly what that…
    Go to the profile of Clem Samson
    Clem Samson
    Jun 19
    The Committee Will Now Gaslight Itself

    The Committee Will Now Gaslight Itself

    Minutes from a standard academic hiring process
    Go to the profile of Vitul Agarwal
    Vitul Agarwal
    Jun 19
    About The HavenLatest StoriesArchiveAbout MediumTermsPrivacyTeams