Homepage
Open in app
Sign in
Get started
The Haven
A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk
About
Yay Books!
Haven Animation
Clem Samson
Archives
Write/Support
School
Follow
FUNNY STUFF
Embracing Impermanence:
Embracing Impermanence:
The Secret to Living Fully and Fearlessly
Clem Samson
Jun 14
Oh, where are you, my Nigel?
Oh, where are you, my Nigel?
Nigel Farage is DJT’s favourite British politician (when he remembers who he is of course. He also has a tendency to not attend Parliament…
TheWritingArcher
Jun 14
How to speak to women*
How to speak to women*
*Or ‘The Sonnet of the Barfly’.
TheWritingArcher
Jun 14
Title: The saint of saintliness
Who do you spend the most time with?
Indian Dreamer
Jun 14
If ‘Tits’ are Birds, ‘Cocks’ are Roosters, and ‘Dicks’ are Private Eyes, Then Why Can’t My Lawyer…
If ‘Tits’ are Birds, ‘Cocks’ are Roosters, and ‘Dicks’ are Private Eyes, Then Why Can’t My Lawyer…
An Irreverent Look at Words, Birds, and Legal Turds
SC Thompson
Jun 14
The Existential Crisis of a Spoon That Only Gets Used for Soup
The Existential Crisis of a Spoon That Only Gets Used for Soup
The forks have a group chat without me
Kashish Murarka
Jun 14
Preparing My Uterus for the National Medal of Motherhood
Preparing My Uterus for the National Medal of Motherhood
It’s go time, baby
Rachel Marsh
Jun 14
Pardon Me? Let’s Play Mar-a-Lago Monopoly
Pardon Me? Let’s Play Mar-a-Lago Monopoly
Buy a Get-out-of-jail-for-a-fee card from the Prez himself
Christopher Holdroyd
Jun 14
If you invite me to another game night, I’m keying your car
If you invite me to another game night, I’m keying your car
Trouble. Yahtzee. Sorry! They aren’t just things I yell out during sex — they’re also the names of popular board games. All my friends…
Rohan
Jun 14
Why Filipino Food Gets a Bad Rap — And Why It’s Time That Changed
Why Filipino Food Gets a Bad Rap — And Why It’s Time That Changed
Unpacking the Myths, Celebrating the Mess, and Savoring Every Finger-Licking Bite
Travel Explore Protect
Jun 14
Hobbies for Hire
Hobbies for Hire
A guide to monetizing useless skills and poor life choices
KYG
Jun 14
Kafkett and his desk arrived on the 17th floor at precisely 9:04 a.m.
His first target was SynerCorp Global Solutions. He rolled his desk directly up to the glass-and-chrome reception station, where a woman…
Dimitry Partsi
Jun 13
Candies of the 2000’s: Where Are They Now?
Candies of the 2000’s: Where Are They Now?
I locked my front door and hurried across the street to my car. First, I need to pick up pastries from that bakery Dad likes, then I need…
Amelia Cardone
Jun 13
Two Paths: The Tale of Ego and Post-Ego
Two Paths: The Tale of Ego and Post-Ego
Imagine two Duluth residents — John Matthews, an ego-driven executive, and Daniel Hartley, a post-ego artist. Their contrasting approaches…
Clem Samson
Jun 13
Spray WD-40 Up Your Faucet At Night If Alone
Spray WD-40 Up Your Faucet At Night If Alone
And other amazing life-changing clickformation!
Christine Stevens
Jun 13
Top Signs LA Is (Not) Still On Fire
Top Signs LA Is (Not) Still On Fire
Coming Soon To A Liberal City Near You
David Volk
Jun 13
Micropenis Dilemma: How Soon Should I Share That in a Relationship?
Micropenis Dilemma: How Soon Should I Share That in a Relationship?
The Quiet Struggle of Men That Deserves Attention!!
Amara Celestine
Jun 13
To My June
To My June
Twenty years in two months
Muninn
Jun 13
She Always Wondered When She’d Tell Me
She Always Wondered When She’d Tell Me
I was devastated by the news
Brian Dickens Barrabee
Jun 12
Escaping the Ego Trap: The Radical Freedom of Post-Ego Living
Escaping the Ego Trap: The Radical Freedom of Post-Ego Living
Let’s get one thing out of the way: your ego is a con artist. It whispers sweet nothings about your importance, constructs elaborate…
Clem Samson
Jun 12
How Not To Dress Old
How Not To Dress Old
Not to be ageist or anything, but c’mon Granny, get hip!
Christine Stevens
Jun 12
How to Get Started in UX/UI Design
How to Get Started in UX/UI Design
No overpriced bootcamps. No boring YouTube playlists. Just some cheeky, practical advice that works.
Alpha Design
Jun 12
The British Are Coming and They’re Very Fine People
The British Are Coming and They’re Very Fine People
Paul Revere and the movement to Make Britain Great Again
Patrick Metzger
Jun 12
Is Australia Anti-China?
Is Australia Anti-China?
The Geopolitical Drama Explained!
Travel Explore Protect
Jun 12
Burq’s Bore
Burq’s Bore
“Burqa!” so screamed an MP to get attention who represents a party that likes to get attention.
Fatchecker
Jun 12
Extra Charge
Extra Charge
A defective panel on the aircraft fell off while we were at cruising altitude, and a loud roar sucked the breathable air from the plane.
Royal Alvis
Jun 11
My Car Was Stolen, Then It Wasn’t
My Car Was Stolen, Then It Wasn’t
The policeman called my office with the bad news
Brian Dickens Barrabee
Jun 11
Why Faking Orgasms Has Become a Female Talent??
Why Faking Orgasms Has Become a Female Talent??
Your Penis Is Not Magical — Stop Acting Like It Is…
Amara Celestine
Jun 11
The Warlords of Color That Oppose Godwin's Law
The Warlords of Color That Oppose Godwin's Law
Dictators born outside Austria-Germany complain they can’t a get an online mention
Scott Christenson🌴
Jun 11
Who Owns JIRA-1138? (Definitely Not Me)
Who Owns JIRA-1138? (Definitely Not Me)
Product Management Circus: A Sprint Refinement Satire
Pankaj Bisht
Jun 11
About The Haven
Latest Stories
Archive
About Medium
Terms
Privacy
Teams
