I Dreamed of My Death
Was this a premonition or just a vivid dream?
A re-write of a members only story
Saturday night I awakened from one of the strangest dreams I’ve ever experienced. To my knowledge only one of my early dreams ended up proving prophetic. This felt a little the same, but probably allergies induced this vivid brain video.
I dreamed that I had somehow become part of a group of people traveling in a dull grey bus. We were all wearing grey fatigue-like clothes that set us apart from everyone else traveling in their mob of colorful, buses. I’m not aware of my bus-mates being friends or even people I knew.
All of the multi-hued buses had destinations shown on their front marquees. Only ours was blank. Perhaps we had speculated about why the blank marquee (but I don’t recall any words at all spoken in the dream). Had we been singled out for some special job? Were we going to receive a special commendation?
I sensed a bit more intelligence and productivity in our group than others. Perhaps also bit more creativity, a bit more usefulness…
None of us knew what was happening. But the knowledge came soon.
We needed to leave the bus for some reason. One could easily see our bus parked up higher in the steep hills. As we were walking back to it I looked up and it now displayed a big white sign with red hand painted letters that read something like “Auschwitz”.
I knew then we headed to our deaths. I knew then gas awaited us.
There was just a moment more to the dream. A big area held our bus load all together, and the light the grey of dawn or dusk surrounded us. Fear did not gnaw at me, I don’t believe in any of us — just resignation.
And then I awoke.
You might imagine this a disturbing dream, but actually it oddly comforted me. You see, I always feared death, but in this dream God gave me the courage to face it with calm resignation.
I can only pray that if I do face such a death I will have the courage and unshakable faith of those who went to their deaths at Auschwitz singing their hymns to G-d.¹
¹ In my very under-informed understanding, many Jews view God’s name as so sacred that it cannot be written because it can then disappear — destroyed, distorted or forgotten — and this includes even its translation.
