Is this a conversation either party enjoys?
Here’s an example (and exaggerated) conversation between me and a (fictional) coworker.
Me: Hey! Happy new year! How was your break?
Coworker: Oy, I was caught completely off guard by a snowstorm and ended up in the ditch driving home after Christmas.
Me: Oh my! Are you okay?
Coworker: I’m fine but looks like about $1,000 of damage on my car.
Me: I’m so glad you are okay!
Coworker: Unbelievable dealing with insurance on this. These deductibles these days. I’m barely getting any money from them at all.
Me: That sounds frustrating.
Coworker: Of course, the person who put me in the ditch gets away with no responsibility.
Me: How’s that?
Coworker: SUV going WAY too fast starts fishtailing in front of me. I hit the brakes and skid into the ditch. He spins around twice but recovers and doesn’t even stop to see if I’m alright.
Me: Wow, I’m glad the situation didn’t get worse than that!
Coworker: Next winter, I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I cannot take another December and January in this horrible weather.
Me: Winters sure can be unpredictable!
Coworker: I don’t know how you manage to walk to work every day.
Me: Thank goodness for warm coats!
Coworker: Anyway, back to going through my thousand unread email. Somebody shoot me.
Me: Good luck to you, and happy 2017!
That’s the kind of conversation you can have when you resolve to not criticize, condemn, or complain. What do you think? How do I come across?