Calling for A New Definition of Success
(The Old Version is Broken)
This is the title from a TechCrunch article that came out in May 2019:
“New study shows human development is destroying the planet at an unprecedented rate”
Metanarratives of human specialness and infallibility have been abandoned for a long time. As have their associated myths of industrial and industrious Progress. Techno-optimists are reconsidering technology’s ability to solve the world’s problems. And our old leaders no longer look like us.
An influx of new and exciting (and nontraditional) leaders presents us with an opportunity to redefine the nature of success.
Let’s look at the old definition:
A Successful Person has traditionally been someone with a lot of money, a lot of power, who might be famous.
Success is when other people want to be you. When other people want what you’ve accumulated: your cars, fancy houses, the women on your arm.
This type of success depends on your ability to take from the earth, from other people, and from your spirit.
Success has been defined this way for a long time. Material success, that is.
It’s time to discuss some alternative definitions of success. We all know that acquiring stuff doesn’t make you happy.
And we’re becoming more and more aware that destroying the earth for our own gains is going to destroy us in the end.
So how do we redefine success for a better world? Here are 10 ideas to start us off…
1. Presence
Presence is the ability to see and feel what is right around you. Some people call this mindfulness.
It’s extremely difficult, as our brains want to always be solving problems.
We are usually thinking about the past or future.
It’s very difficult for humans to just be, to look around, to sit still. The ability to sit still, and to feel what is right around us, is hard-won success.
2. Community
Rather than viewing success as the exploits and winnings of one individual, success should be measured on how integrated we are with our community.
How many people know, love, and need us? How many people do we know, love, and need?
Connecting with other humans leads to interdependence through helping, being helped, being known, and being understood.
Community is a salve for isolation and depression.
If others lift us up, we can fly.
Without community, we are just alone in our fancy house with all of the material possessions we’ve accumulated while walking over other people.
3. Freedom
Freedom is the ability to choose, so often taken for granted. Freedom is the ability to walk where we like, live as we wish, eat what we want, spend time with people we want to.
So many people remain un-free, or without the ability to choose, on so many levels.
Freedom is liberation of self, and must be followed by working towards freedom of others.
4. Emotional Intelligence
Newly appreciated in our society is emotional intelligence, or the fluency of our own emotions and the wider emotional language and landscape.
Being able to observe and understand our emotions, and understand the emotions of others provides us with a depth of experience.
For a long time emotions were relegated as superfluous and even unnecessary. This is an archaic patriarchal viewpoint that does not take into account the truth and utility of emotions.
Our emotions tell us what we truly need.
They need to be expressed or they will be stored in our body in the form of stress, anxiety, depression, and stress.
A successful human appreciates and works to understand her emotions.
5. Contentment
Contentment means feeling at peace with what is.
Contentment is a state of gratitude, where one appreciates what one already has.
Contentment doesn’t mean we can’t have more, but it means we could live with what we have and know that it is enough.
Contentment rare and certainly not spoken about in today’s society, where we always need more: more products, more technology, more supplements in order to be whole.
Living with this thirsty mentality, we will never have enough, and we will never be good enough.
Contentment is difficult to cultivate but an important attribute of a true successful person, and a true leader: that person does not crave more money, or power, or attention, but knows how rich she is already.
6. Communication
Communication is related to understanding our emotions.
Good communication is knowing how to neutrally express ourselves and be understood
Good communication with other humans is very difficult, and must be practiced.
Good communication means that you are expressing yourself truthfully, and you are understanding what others are telling you.
This way we can be present to the people around us, and understand how to engage with them in a way that feels honest, respectful, connective, and beneficial to all parties.
7. Work-Life Balance
Knowing how to balance work with rest takes much discipline and skill.
The old definitions of material success usually call to mind an industrious man working dawn until dusk. This unbalanced lifestyle is still glorified in many places.
If we are unbalanced, everything we create will be unbalanced.
If we do not sleep, our work will be impacted by our tiredness.
If we take too much of our own energy to feed our work, the imbalance ripples out through society.
Lack of rest leads to stress, anxiety, depression, and sickness.
In today’s world where we all carry multiple computers with multiple alerts, it is even harder to find work-life balance. Even our hobbies can feel like work.
The new success means taking time to rest, be at peace, enjoy life.
For we now know that enjoyment of life does not depend on how many material possessions you own.
8. Learning
Humans love and need to learn. If we are not learning, we must think that we know everything.
True success comes from learning something new every day.
When we learn, we are open to the unexpected. We allow ourselves to be surprised.
Openness can lead to wonderment, the beautiful feeling that humans can achieve if we are undistracted.
Success should not be defined by what we have learned, but what we hope to learn today and into the future.
9. Integrity
Integrity means standing up for what is right, even if it is scary or difficult.
Integrity is not a vague claim to authenticity.
Integrity is bravery.
True success is deciding what you believe in, and standing for it with your thoughts, words, and actions.
Too often we sacrifice our integrity to grasp something we desire.
Too often we crumble and forgo our values in the face of fear.
Integrity requires us to go into the dark room where our fears lurk, and to shine light.
In order to be truly successful, we must face the many sides of ourselves and align them to our highest beliefs.
10. Purpose
Purpose is a connection to something greater than yourself.
Purpose keeps us going, and gives us a reason to live.
Truly successful people know that they have a purpose. They connect to their purpose every day.
Successful people can inspire others with their devotion to purpose.
Acquiring material goods is not a true purpose. Unconsciously hurting others for our own gain is not a true purpose.
Each person’s purpose is internal, a quiet space for us to connect to our why.
Why are we here on earth?
What do we want to do while we are here?
Are we just biding our time, is it a free for all?
Is it a hard place to be, so we distract with myriad diversions?
Or is it a great, important place to be? Where we have agency and opportunity?
To succeed in a new way, with intention.
What can we add to this new definition of success? This is only the beginning.
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