Our Children are Affected the Most by Coronavirus Lockdowns
Three simple tips to help them cope
It is only day 2 of the Coronavirus lockdown in France, but it is impossible not to notice is that my child is glued to the screen almost all day. First for online learning, then for homework, and then to stay in touch with friends. As a parent keen to limit screen time, this is alarming to say the least.
But what are the new parenting norms in a post-coronavirus world? What goes and what doesn’t? And how do we help our children cope with their new life while staying true to some of the basics?
The starting point is to realise that our children are paying a much higher price than us right now. They are not on leave, there can be no swimming sessions, no outings, no play-dates, and not knowing how long this will last can be highly distortionary for children old enough to know what is going on. Once we are all clear about that, the rest comes in five easy steps:
- Online learning is hard: help them cope!
Schools use a range of online resources that help communication between the teachers and students effectively including Google Hangouts, Zoom, FaceTime, Microsoft Teams and other e-learning apps. But online learning is tedious even for adults, and requires much more focus than in a regular class. The teacher is not entirely able to control each and every child that zones out. The students do not feel the sense of belonging in a class, and day-after-day, the lack of socialisation becomes a reality that your child cannot ignore.
2. Set clear schedules and help children understand the boundaries
The most difficult issue for children is the blurred lines between school and home. Schools are associated with work and home with fun, and this equation is now completely distorted, as Chinese psychologists who studied children during the weeks from the lockdown confirm. In such a situation, setting clear schedules and maintaining a semblance of structure helps children make some sense of their routines. Try to preserve breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time, and insist that the children dress themselves properly and well as they would do for school before they sit down in front of the computer. At the end of the school day, take time off and sit down with your child as you would normally do when they return from school. This will help your child maintain some of the normalcy. There will not be the same stories to report on friends and other classmates, but your child will be missing these more than you.
3. Work with your children to find good ways to blow off steam
Children wake up with so much energy each day. An e-learning environment in your living room or study now replaces their physical and social activities (PE, music, dance, etc); the walks and changes of environment between their different classrooms and the cafeteria; the social experience of their commute to the school and back, their chit-chats with friends as well as the group dynamics from class. The result is obvious: children miss each other, they miss the usual cameraderie, they miss their school and their group dynamics, and the uncertainty imposed by the situation DOES NOT HELP. So as parents, we will need to work with our children to find ways for them to stay in touch with their friends on the phone/ skype/ chat. They also need exercise, so an option can be to devise a group exercise activity for the family at the end of the day, or even make a schedule with more amusing ways to cope — like initiate a home dance party once every three days. Or listen to music together, swap book stories, form a family book club, teach your children how to cook or employ them as your su-chefs in the kitchen. Such activities can give them a sense of pride and calm during these tough times, and best of all, even create lovely memories.
