20 things all writers are tired of hearing
I write for a living. A lot of people do. And one thing that really matters to me is to let me be while my thinking cap is on. I will not talk to you when I am researching on my topic. You will not see me while I’m writing. If I am smiling after an entire day inside a room, it means I am dead inside, but I managed to pull something off. If I am not, stay away for some time. I will keep trying.
But people who are not into this skill often take it for granted.
Whether you are a full time blogger, a freelancer, a columnist, or a book author, I am sure working with bosses/publishers/people for you has been tough. So, on behalf of all my writer friends, here are the list of things we are all tired of hearing (and some sarcastic replies to them):
- I want this piece in two hours.
Fact: Writing can take anything between a few hours to infinity, depending upon the zone the writer is in.
2. What do you have to do? You JUST HAVE TO WRITE!
Suggestion: If it is that easy, why don’t you do it?
3. I don’t understand why she is charging so much per word. I can hire two people in that amount.
Comment: Okay, then go ahead. But also be ready to face the consequences.
4. Why don’t you just start writing on this? You write a lot anyway!
Comment: Yes, I poop words too.
5. It must be so easy for you to churn out words.
Comment: Yes, I had the Scrabble kit for breakfast.
6. Hey, you! What does this word mean?
Comment: Hey, you! I am a human, not a dictionary. Please consult Google.
7. I need a quick one-liner. Please make it extremely catchy. It’s about my product.
Fact: Even to create one-liners, we need to know what the hell we are talking about and who are we talking to. Period.
8. I want the content to be serious. No wait, I want it to be catchy. Actually, you should make it like a list. No, wait! ….
Comment: Yes, my magic wand is right here. Let me sprinkle some sexy dust on my keyboard right away.
9. I tried writing something. It’s a few pages. Can you please take a look and edit it?
Comment: Sure! My edit and critique button is on 24*7.
10. How do you write everyday?
Fact: I don’t. I would die otherwise.
11. I think this needs to be more refined and succinct.
Comment: Feedback is welcome, if you are a writer/editor, not when you don’t even know the difference between “your” and “you’re.”
12. You don’t think she can write? Just teach her!
Comment: Yes, I shall also teach my gold fish how to fly.
13. We need to change our message to the audience.
Comment: Okay, I just spent two months framing this strategy, getting it myself, and making it work. But sure, another strategy is on its way.
14. I need you to do only guest posts now. You have anyways mastered the website blog.
No comments.
15. Your focus needs to shift from writing to management. Get a few people “who can write” and help you out. We want freshers, who either don’t demand money or are happy with peanuts.
Fact: People who can write have a skill. And talent comes at a cost.
16. Anybody can become a writer these days.
No comments.
17. Conversations with the world be like (me-specific):
Them: So you’re a content writer?
Me: Content Marketer.
Them: Yes, so you write blogs, right?
Me: I write, design, publish, distribute, and do everything in between.
Them: Yes, so you’re a content writer, right?
Me: Yes, that’s my identity. *facepalm*
18. Please write for my blog. I will make you the Content Head. I have been planning to launch my own start-up. Just give me one-two hours everyday.
19. You want peace? Go to the conference room and write. There is a lot of peace there.
Comment: Since meetings and people do not distract or break the flow to thoughts and writing.
20. How is the post you published yesterday doing?
Comment: Have you heard of a concept called time?
Want people to write for you? Give them peace.
I hope I am not the only one feeling like this. Show me your support by hitting the green heart below! Till then,
