A brief look inside the gym ecosphere

First day at the gym? Don’t worry, we’ve got you sorted

Kelly K
Kelly K
Jul 27 · 3 min read

Change is the only constant — says one who has never stepped foot into a gym before. You can change your name and your country, but no, you still can’t escape from these four gym junkies!

1. The Hulk

Image for post
Photo by Alora Griffiths on Unsplash

They’re the silent but most violent of the bunch. Usually middle aged men with a threatening aura, they barely speak a word as they do bicep curls with 25kg dumbbells.

They huff and they puff and they evacuate ASAP after finishing their workout. Minimal chatting and eye contact. They aren’t shy, we just don’t exist in the world they live in.

Legend has it they actually smile when no one’s looking

2. The Influencers

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Photo by Tony Woodhead on Unsplash

The influencers’ never show up without perfectly matching workout gear, probably sponsored #ad #sp. Their expertly sculpted body stands in stark contrast to their seemingly superfluous lifestyle.

Their MO consists of inclined walks and squats on the smith machine, anything and everything to work the glutes.

Must end each workout with a mirror selfie. Are the gains real, or is it just flexing ? We will never know.

3. The micro-influencers

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Photo by Victor Freitas on Unsplash

These are your everyday influencers but without the accompanying reach or influence; the generic ones of the lot. They have an obsession with broadcasting their entire workout to every single one of their 20 followers on instagram.

Full of tips on healthy eating 101, they might actually get a good body if they follow their own advice

#loveyourself #bodypositivity, some say they are life coaches in disguise.

4. Cardio Crazies

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Photo by Amie Johnson on Unsplash

This unique group health ‘fanatics’ come in all shapes and sizes. They spend an eternity on the treadmill but follow the diet of rabbits on junk food — and they wonder why their weight is not going down.

No, I don’t eat fried chicken because it’s fattening — they said while munching on a piece of white bread, their fourth piece of the day.

Common conversation topics include the newest miracle weight-loss method, and who amongst them have lost 0.000001 inches off their waist that day.

Strength and lifting, what’s that again?

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

Kelly K

Written by

Kelly K

just trying to navigate a perpetual existential crisis through medical school really … follow my adventures @ medium.com/med-school-diaries

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

Kelly K

Written by

Kelly K

just trying to navigate a perpetual existential crisis through medical school really … follow my adventures @ medium.com/med-school-diaries

The Hit Job

humor | culture | football | trouble

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