Are you smarter than a 72-year-old orange?

Spelling! Geography! Other libtard conspiracies!

Ever wonder if you’ve got what it takes to be the leader of the formerly free world? The highest (provisionally) elected official in the former most supremest world power?

Neither did one guy. Look how well it worked out for him.

Take this quick test to see if you can measure up to the current standards to be President of the United States of America. Seriously. Do it. There may be a vacancy soon.

1. How do you spell the word for ‘Merica’s most popular beef patty sandwich?

a) Hamburger

b) Hamberder

c) Hamburglar

d) Ham sandwich

2. What’s the word for an act or state of being that has never happened before in recorded history?

a) Unprecedented

b) Unpresidented

c) UnlegallyaidedbyRussiated

d) Unfuckinbelievable

3. What is the correct way to use the word, “covfefe” in a sentence?

a) They just let you do it. Grab ’em by the covfefe.

b) Despite the constant negative press covfefe.

c) They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are covfefe.

d) I fired Lyin’ James Covfefe.

4. Is Nashville the same as New Orleans?

a) No.

b) Yes.

c) They’re both shithole countries, so who cares?

d) We’re still havin’ fun, and you’re still the one.

5. Does filing multiple bankruptcies and refusing to pay contractually obligated employees and contractors make you a smart businessman?

a) No.

b) Yes.

c) Da, comrade.

d) I never settle.

6. True/false: I am the least racist person that you have ever met.

a) Fucking hell.

b) True.

7. How much will it cost Mexico to build an impenetrable wall along the U.S. / Mexico border?

a) Not gonna happen, Senor Schmuck.

b) $5.7 billion.

c) We’re talking about a wall for $20 billion, $15 billion. I could even do it cheaper if I have to, and it will be better than anyone’s ever seen a wall.

d) However much we can get on GoFundMe.

8. Was Russia justified when they invaded Afghanistan in 1979?

a) The fuck?

b) Da, comrade.

c) Who’s asking?

d) We can all see the puppet strings of Putin, Don.

9. What is the correct definition of “collusion”?

a) Trading information through intermediaries to assist a hostile foreign government, while benefiting from information and actions of that government for personal gain while running for president.

b) Trick question. There is NO COLLUSION.

c) He only worked for me a short time and I barely knew him.

d) It’s not collusion. And even if it was, collusion isn’t illegal.

10. How many extramarital affairs are too many to alienate yourself from ‘Merican Christian Evangelicals, so long as you keep lying to them and tell them what they want to hear?

a) One.

b) I’ll let you know when I get there.

c) She signed a non-disclosure agreement and is prevented from commenting.

d) It’s not illegal if I didn’t pay my mistresses with campaign funds.


If you answered “A” to these, you’re in hell right now.

If you answered “B” to all of these, congratulations, Donald Trump. You aced your test. Maybe you should start a university?

If you answered “C” or “D,” well, you definitely got #6 wrong.