Don Poorleone does it again
As realized by Donald Trump’s lawyers
Trump lawyer #1:
What are you smiling at?
Trump lawyer #2:
Huh?
Trump lawyer #1:
I said, “What are you smiling at?”
Trump lawyer #2:
I saw you walk in. I didn’t realize I was smiling …
Trump lawyer #1:
OMIGOD. You don’t know.
Trump lawyer #2:
Know what?
Trump lawyer #1:
OMIGOD. You don’t know what he said.
Trump lawyer #2:
Oh no. What did he say?
Trump lawyer #1:
Jesus Christ. I can’t. I just cannot …
Trump lawyer #2:
Just say it!
Trump lawyer #1:
This STUPID motherfucker … OUR STUPID motherfucker, oh sweet Jesus.
Trump lawyer #2:
What??? He said what? JUST SAY IT!!!!!!!!!
Trump lawyer #1:
He said he has $500 million in cash. To the press.
Trump lawyer #2:
No. No! He didn’t. You must be joking. Even Dementia Don is not that stupid. C’mon. You’re joking, right? Hey! Right?
Trump lawyer #1:
I’mntfuhhugggingjjouhkeeeng …
Trump lawyer #2:
What? Stop mumbling. Get a grip! ARE. YOU. JOKING?????
Trump lawyer #1:
I’m not joking. He really said it. Oh, God.
Trump lawyer #2:
You’re saying that he told everyone that he has the money? All that money we’ve been trying to tell everyone doesn’t exist so he can get it fronted by the MAGAts and the Russians and the Saudis? He knows this. He can’t go telling people now he’s got the money!!!! What the actual fuck is he doing?
Trump lawyer #1:
I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!!!!!
Trump lawyer #2:
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK?
Trump lawyer #1:
He knows how leveraged he is! I’ve explained this to him multiple times.
Trump lawyer #2:
These people … are serious.
Trump lawyer #1:
I know!
Trump lawyer #2:
I know you know!
Trump lawyer #1:
Jesus!
Trump lawyer #2:
What a dumb fucking moron!
Trump lawyer #1:
He thinks he’s some Don Poorleone mob boss. But he has no idea who he’s in bed with.
Trump lawyer #2:
This is really not good.
Trump lawyer #1:
It’s not just the money people. He’s in way over his head and now he thinks he can just wish it away by telling people he has the money? Every fucking jurisdiction and half-assed plaintiff’s lawyer is going to come out of the woodwork!
Trump lawyer #2:
Can we walk it back?
Trump lawyer #1:
Can we quit?
Trump lawyer #2:
How about we fake our own deaths? You’ve got a go kit, right?
Trump lawyer #1:
I got a few passports. Is it time?
Trump lawyer #2:
Jesus. My kids!
Trump lawyer #1:
No time for that now. Their fate was sealed as soon as you took him on. It’s over.
Trump lawyer #2:
It’s over.
Trump lawyer #1:
Jesus.
Trump lawyer #2:
Fuck.
