Inside the ‘DUMP’ that Trump calls ‘the White House’
White House shows physical effects of Trump’s presidency
Since 2016, many, many American have been showing the physical effects caused by the moment-to-moment mental toll; of having Trump as a maniacal, unhinged-lunatic president.
For example, here’s what I looked like before November 2016, and what I look like now, after several months of Trump in office. As you can see from these pictures it’s taken a drastic toll.
Like many of us, the White House, as a structure, is also seeing the effects of Trump’s presidency. Trump recently called the White House “ a real dump” and went on to say “the Washington monument and Lincoln memorial, and the Statue of Liberty, also, all really, really, suck … Sad.”
So I decided to infiltrate the White House, and see for myself, how the structure is faring, as it contains Trump’s cabinet (many of whom were hatched instead of born), and Trump (who was cultivated in a lab in the ‘40s by German scientists who were, in their spare time, war criminals).
These types of innovations in journalism and journalistic ideas are examples of why I’m now commonly referred to as “The Edward R. Murrow of this generation.”
As it turns out, through my photojournalistic investigation, apparently most, or, all of the damage in the White House was directly caused by Trump’s cabinet, and Trump.
For example, Jared Kushner listed “light construction /wallpapering skills,” and “Middle East problem solving” as his notable skills on his original security clearance forms. However, here’s the result of Kushner’s attempts to wallpaper a corridor in the west wing:
I also was able to sneak into Stephen Bannon’s office, careful not to disturb the pentagram made of powered human bones that adorned the floor. One White House insider claimed: “Bannon’s satanic rituals, and summonings of creatures from a burning chasm of evil that only exists to soil the fabric of reality, such as human-arachnoid-hybrid, Stephen Miller, has lead to much physical damage of his office, like in Ghostbusters, when things go horribly horribly wrong.”
As for the Lincoln Bedroom, Lincoln’s actual ghost is said to be destroying it in a mad frenzy of rage, to where Mary Todd Lincoln’s ghost is now the voice of reason, attempting to calm him down … to which Abe Lincoln’s ghost keeps responding: “Don’t shush me Mary! Don’t shush me!” as he continues to angrily destroy his former bedroom in his ghostly telekinetic rage, which fist took semi solid phantasmic form back in January 2017, according to sources.
Aforementioned human-arachnoid-hybrid Stephen Miller, (summoned by Bannon from a rift in reality, and made from irradiated spider eggs infused with shredded copies of Orwell’s “1984"), is known to excrete droppings that quickly form into acidic spores that attack anyone approaching them, infecting them with spores which impregnate humans with Miller’s eggs (a known occupational hazard in the White House, which is why it’s so drastically understaffed).
Although the newest version of Rex Tillerson (an Android automaton developed by Exxon & Samsung) seems stable, previous versions of Rex Tillerson have gotten hot, and exploded, along with his Galaxy phones, causing massive damage. The newest version of Tillerson, with the latest firmware updates is said to be stable, but his operating system is still in early beta, and thus has system crashes, though now non-lethal … for now.
So, shockingly, unlike every single thing Trump has said, uttered, or thought since 2015, his White House statement indeed has some truth to it, as the direct result of those who inhabit it.
Written By Steven W. Rouach
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